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Budget and Recap! 10/10/2020 West Point, NY downsized but glad we still had a celebration!
First of all Weddit thanks for all the input and help and ideas. It was great to have a place of sanity to go while we were planning this day for the last 2.5 years! Our wedding was incredible and while it wasn't the day we had originally wanted, it was perfect. I am so grateful that we were able to have our closest friends and closest family there. As we navigated our options with postponing we realized that it wasn't really an option for us. Due to my husband's job if we didn't have our celebration in October, it wasn't going to happen until at least fall 2022. We'd already been engaged for 2 years and we were both ready to move on. While postponing is the right option for some couples, we realized that there are a million reasons to celebrate so we wanted to do something this year and we can throw a huge party with everyone we love for an anniversary, birthday, big life celebration, or just because we want to. I know that having a wedding at all right now is a controversial topic. I really don't want to have the conversation with anyone about the precautions we took. Among other things, every single person that attended had to have a negative test within 24 hrs. We did not invite friends/family that would have to travel and the one bridesmaid (bff) that did travel came in with us 3 weeks early so that we could all quarantine and test multiple times. We also had ample mask wearing, sanitizer, distancing of all seating, and everything was outside. Post wedding everyone tested again and everyone was negative.I do not want to engage with anyone on if it was the right thing to do. THE BASICS Date: October 10, 2020 Guests: originally planning for 225, ended up with about 50 once we cut the list down. There were a lot of family and friends that weren't invited to our smaller celebration. Venue: The Historic Thayer Hotel at West Point Pictures:https://imgur.com/a/DpcLVeX What went not so right:
I super sprained my ankle on the way to the venue on Friday. We were picking up lunch in the town next to the hotel and I stepped of a curb wrong. I ended up with 2 grade 3 (the worst!) ankle sprains on the inside and outside of my ankle, with significant bone bruising. This was determined at my MRI the Tuesday after the wedding. Thanks to the hotel for having a wheelchair for the rehearsal, my physical therapist for being the best and facetiming me literally hours before the rehearsal, my aunt for getting multiple boots for me on her way up, and the most amazing friends I was able to walk down the aisle and overall have an amazing night.
The flowers. They were all kinds of wrong. No one else would know that but me, but instead of a bouquet with lots of flowers the greenery to flower ratio was completely wrong. The colors were wrong (way more white than burgundy) and overall the flowers were just not what I wanted. When we went for the final she didn't have a mock up done and if I were to do this again I would insist there was a mockup so that I'd know I was getting what I wanted. There were also no cake flowers provided. I would not recommend this florist (PM me if you need details)
the cake. While it tasted fine and none of our guests knew it was also all kinds of wrong. 4 days before the wedding the owner of the bakery called me and tried to completely change our cake. We were meant to have a full buttercream cake with the bottom tier burgundy ombre and flowers on the cake. This was what we got instead There was fondant and it looked like an episode of "nailed it". Our Maitre'd also said that the overall quality of the cake was terrible (this was their preferred vendor and apparently quality has been declining) and I honestly felt like we were scammed between the tasting and presentation and what we ended up with. I would never recommend anyone get a cake from Sweet Grace bakery in NJ.
Some key family members weren't able to be there. My husband's aunt and uncle, who was supposed to be our second officiant, couldn't be there due to a medical issue (unrelated to COVID) and he was very much missed. A dear friend was also unable to come be a bridesmaid in the wedding due to the pandemic. She moved abroad and was going to come back to the states, see family and quarantine, but given current restrictions, she was nervous about being able to get back to her home so she wasn't able to be there.
What went right:
literally everything else.
I walked down the aisle to "Storybook Love" from the princess bride. The ceremony made me cry. My husband's vows were the most romantic and I felt like our ceremony was a perfect blend of us. We are an interfaith couple and we wrote our ceremony with the help of our officiant, my aunt. We used both a reading from the bible and followed many cultural jewish traditions. More than one person told me that they loved how we did a modern secular reading of the seven blessings and we had descriptions of all of the rituals and traditions in our program. If anyone wants a link to the rituals and traditions in a jew-ish wedding i'm happy to pass along.
Streaming was amazing. We hired someone my mom found (PM for info, he was seriously great) to set up streaming for our ceremony. The stream was high quality, our website worked well, putting the program online and making a virtual guestbook were great touches. It was streamed through youtube live and it was so nice that it auto records so that we could see it right away! I'd recommend kudoboard for anyone that is doing a virtual ceremony. We loved reading all of the notes and I had the board printed to put with our untraditional guestbook
the food! Omg the food. We had a cocktail hour with individually plated apps, a 5 course dinner, dessert, and a farewell station. Our venue also wrapped up all of the food my husband and I couldn't eat and it was just delicious. Food, photo, and overall vibe were the top things for us and we definitely achieved it.
photo and video-- i'm obsessed with our photographer, PM me for the details because I didn't ask about posting. Our videographer was also amazing and he actually stuck around for like 20 min after his scheduled end time so he could see us attempt to cut the cake with a sword. I would highly recommend both
My veil and makeup! My veil was made by the incredible Morgan from Cicada bridal in Seattle and Makeup was perfect. Our makeup artist (PM for details) did a great job of keeping us on a schedule and overall made the morning vibe perfect. She stood up for me when I needed it the day of the wedding as well. Those two things really made me feel like my look came together and my bridesmaids all loved their looks.
Mismatched bridesmaid dressed. Honestly I'm just obsessed with the burgundy to blush look and i'd do this again in a heartbeat. I am so glad that everyone picked their own dresses. I gave all bridesmaids $100 to get a dress.
the band! everyone had a great time and they did a really good job reading the room on when it was time to eat vs when some people wanted to dance. They never called everyone to the dance floor and we had an amazing night. Even my aunt who had been beyond a hermit for the last 8 months felt safe during some of the slow songs to dance with my uncle, away from everyone.
BUDGET BREAKDOWN I am doing my best to break down the budget as detailed as possible. We got married in a HCOL area and our original budget reflects the plan for a more traditional Jewish wedding, where parents were allowed to invite friends. It was important to us that everyone was there with us, our whole proverbial community and we knew there would be a premium paid for that. Once we downsized and added streaming I know there were ways to do it for less, but the quality of the virtual experience was important to us. I don't regret for one second what we spent on things, and we could've easily spent more. I am putting this budget breakdown in because the two in my budget range that I saw when I was planning made me feel more sane. I really do not appreciate the budget shaming that often happens on this sub. It was hard planning in such a HCOL area where the national averages are not representative, so I do hope this can help anyone who is looking for what things really cost for a wedding of this size in and around NYC One thing to note is that we got engaged in June 2018 and while we spent a lot of money, a lot of it was spread out over nearly 2.5 years. Day to day, the amount spent on the wedding didn't impact our budget and we did not go into any debt. My parents contributed a set amount to the wedding and my fiancé's parents covered the rehearsal dinner. I am not including my engagement ring or the honeymoon in this because I have a rough idea of how much my husband spent on my ring, but I've never asked for sure and our honeymoon is not going to happen until the world opens up. We are planning on taking 2 big trips to double celebrate our honeymoon (and because since we're waiting, why not?) to Japan and then to South Africa and Namibia. totals: all totals include gratuities initial budget: 80k planned budget pre-covid: 100k Total spent (including things that were not really in the budget) ~50k Breakdown: ****Ceremony and Reception: ****
Venue and Catering:$14,005.18 This included the fee for the ceremony ($1500), AV setup (hardwired internet), breakfast/lunch the day of, all wedding food, open bar, matire'd fee, gratuities/taxes, all linens, china, table setup, staff, cake, etc. this also includes the cost for the bride and groom's hotel room for 1 night as it was comped the other night.
Officiants:$600, we had my aunt officiate and did the legal bits in a count house months earlier so she did this for free but we paid for her hotel room (2 nights) as a thank you so
Ceremony Streaming:$750. This was a last minute cost and while we both think it was a bit high, the streaming was perfect and paying to not have that stress was incredible. I'd highly recommend the guy who did our streaming as he set everything up well and we got so many compliments on the stream.
Ceremony/Cocktail Hour Music:$700 this included a flute/violin duet for a prelude and ceremony and then a jazz trio for cocktail hour. They were great.
Flowers:$3,906.76 . We are in discussions with the florist that we did not get the things we asked for and are looking for a refund in some part of this. Our original estimate pre covid was aver $5,000 for flowers to give some context. we had 7 bridesmaids bouquets, 1 brides bouquet, 7 table centerpieces, chuppah rental and florals, and placecard table flowers.
Cocktail Hour Decor:~50. I am so glad I did this myself since our flowers generally sucked and they wanted to charge me $35 per bud vase. I thrifted bud vases and bought some from a bride on reddit, then I got 2 old atlases from half price books, some floral wire, and then tiny black rocks from amazon. Overall this DIY cost me like $50 and it was perfect. Also in this cost are some cool votive candles I bought from amazon.
Photography:$6,000. incredible would 100% recommend. PM me for the name. This included 10 hrs of shooting, over 800 photos, and an album
Videography:$2,000 incredible would 100% recommend. PM me for the name. This included a full day of shooting, all raw footage, a ~5 min highlight video and a full ceremony video.
Sabers for Saber Arch:$100 donation to the West Point Hostess Office
Photo Booth:$350 total.$250 deposit lost due to covid. Once we moved everything outside we didn't have a good place for the photo booth or to run electricity to it. So we cancelled that and instead spent $100 on a big cutout frame we hung from the ceiling. Originally the photobooth was going to be another $400 so I'm just counting it was coming out ahead.
Tents and dance floor rental:~$3,500 this was an additional cost that we took on as a covid precaution and it was perfect. This includes rentals (2 tents with walls that we ended up keeping up), having tent heaters on standby (they weren't needed), and the dance floor. My mom did a great job working with the venue and the rental organization to get a great setup and flow with the tents.
Party Entertainment:$8,500 this includes 10 musicians and live continuous music for the entire party. Also includes their travel fee and they MC'd our entire reception. They were wonderful!
****Appearances ****
Gown/Alterations:$1400 for the gown, $895 for alterations - I felt incredible and I hope some of the photos I posted help any bride who is size conscious to know that even at my heaviest I felt amazing and your size shouldn't stop you from having an amazing time.
Bridal Hair and Makeup:Hair $300, Makeup $325, bridesmaids/moms - hair $100-$150 depending on style, $125 for makeup. Both services were optional for bridesmaids and my mom decided the week of the wedding to help subsidize the cost for all bridesmaids who elected to have the services.
Bridal Accessories:$610 Veil ($500), party earrings ($45), ceremony earrings ($0), and party headpiece ($65). All other jewelry (hat, diamond necklace, diamond bracelet, other rings) were all family pieces
Bridesmaids Dresses:$600 - $100 per bridesmaid. Note: this wasn't necessary for groomsmen because they were all in uniforms, except my brother and my dad covered his tux
Groom's outfit:~80, $70 for a special uniform belt for his saber an then $10 on socks with our cat's face on them
Wedding Rings:$1850 for both rings, his was from Costco, mine was made from diamonds I got at an estate sale by a local. jeweler. I am obsessed with my ring. there was an additional cost to polish/dip our rings and watches and jewelry but I'm not counting it in this budget because it's regular maintenance.
****Gifts and things people kept****
Stationary:~ 350 + invitations this includes: save the dates ($175), invites, thank you notes, & invitations to our virtual celebration (honestly I don't know my mom just paid directly to the invitation lady), ceremony programs ($70), menus ($30), place cards ($30),
Wedding Party Gifts:~$550 for 6 bridesmaids, 5 groomsmen and 2 jr groomsmen. bridesmaids got a zip up for getting ready, a makeup case and a faux fur shawl in case they were cold. Groomsmen got a yeti bottle opener and a six pack of their favorite beer. Not including the gifts we gave when we asked them to be in the wedding
Welcome gifts and Bathroom Basket:~$300, 25 bags we included 2 new mexico soaps, costco snacks and drinks in a canvas bag. the bathroom basket stuff was all free and leftover things we used from my cousin's bat mitzvah
Favors:$241.51 we had the cutest little globes we filled with gummy bears! The shipping on the gummy bears was dumb but weddings make you do dumb things.
Flip Flops :$30 for 30 pairs of flip flops. My mom bought the baskets from Marshalls, not sure how much they were but assuming under $20 each. We ended up selling the ones we didn't use.
****Misc****
Wedding insurance:$636.00 this includes the liability insurance required by our venue and full cancellation insurance in case my husband was unexpectedly deployed. We didn't want to take any chances with this and losing deposits/full amounts, even though in the contracts we ensured there were military clauses throughout. This was purchased in 2019 and gave us incredible piece of mind as we opted for full full coverage.
Misc Decor and things:$500 This includes: photo frames (we did pics of us in the tub as kids on the bathroom doors) and a photo table, placecard holders, ribbons so we could do a socially distanced hora, a Mr. and Mrs sign for our table, alcohol for our suite afterparty, chargers for the tables, kudoboard (unlimited), website domain
****Not counted in this budget **** Dance Lessons:~$600 This money would've been super well spent if I hadn't hurt myself. we still did dance a bit but it wasn't what we planned. One day we can use those skills. I actually had a great time at the dance lessons and I'd 100% do it again. Pre Marital Counseling:~$500 very much money well spent. We did 4 sessions with a counselor online in the weeks before the wedding. We both felt like we got some great tools and it was a fantastic outlet for conversations we needed to have. I liked that it was virtual which made it accessible and I feel like we could go back to that counselor if we ever needed it. Ketubah:~400, this was a Hanukkah gift in 2019 Smashing Glasses:~200 this was a gift from my aunt who officiated the wedding. Engagement Ring Honeymoon Post-Wedding Brunch - My parents paid for this, it was casual Wedding Shoes:~$400, I bought these incredible something bleu shoes Navy kitten heels and then glitter keds for the party. I ended up in a boot and a sneaker so womp. But luckily both pairs of these shoes aren't very "bridal" and i'm definitely planning on wearing the glitter keds to the next tech conference I go to. I don't consider these "wedding budget" things because I'll wear them other times as well. Rehearsal dinner - MIL paid for this I'm glad I can post this and happy to talk to any other brides/grooms who are in the midst of planning!
Oops, I’m a covid bride... A picnic wedding reception wasn’t my original ~vision~ but I’m rolling with the punches. Postponing our wedding has made us realize how expensive our original plan was, so we’re rethinking everything as we try to find a celebration that will fit our budget. Side note: We‘re not planning to do this until the pandemic has calmed down. My inner bridezilla hates all the waiting but I’m not willing to risk anyone’s health. THE VIBE I’m going for “garden party” as opposed to “rustic farmhouse chic,” but I also want things to feel laid-back and easy THE LOCATION A public park in the middle of my city THE TIME 11:00 am following the 10:00 am ceremony at our church THE DETAILS • The menu consists of brunch-y finger foods like fruit skewers and bagels, mimosas, and cupcakes for dessert • To save on a DJ, we’ll replace music/dancing with lawn games and other activities (croquet, hula hoops, a wedding cake piñata, a photo scavenger hunt with prizes) • Seating will consist of picnic blankets, with chairs/tables provided for those who are physically unable to sit comfortably on the ground • Flip-flop sandals as party favors will give people the option to change out of their heels • A Selfie Spot instead of a photo booth will save so much money it’s actually OBSCENE WHERE I NEED HELP • A timeline. Will guests eat and immediately leave if there’s no dancing? I‘m hoping that if we schedule the scavenger hunt prizes and the piñata for an hour or so after brunch is served, there will be something keeping everyone here. • Seating logistics. For the original wedding, I created a seating chart (which is suuuuper necessary for this group) that had 8 people per table—which, in this case, means 8 people per picnic blanket. How big should each blanket be to comfortably accommodate 8 guests? I’m also providing a pillow for each guest to sit on...anybody know where to get like 60 pillows for real cheap? My mom is sewing pillowcases to help everything match. • Decorations. I’m keeping these to a minimum: a couple of signs with directions, props and a backdrop for the Selfie Spot, and centerpieces. I’m planning to buy small wooden boxes I can put in the middle of each picnic blanket to hold table numbers and centerpieces; any ideas on where to get boxes like that? Suggestions for decorations I haven’t thought of? • Set-up logistics. Someone needs to go set everything up the morning of the event and babysit everything while the ceremony is going on—it’s a public park, and while we’re allowed to reserve it for the wedding, the park doesn’t provide security to keep people away from our stuff. Has anyone done this before? I can’t ask my MOH because whoever is in charge of this will have to miss the wedding itself. Sorry this post got so long. I love love love this stage of the planning process and now that I’m over the initial disappointment of postponing, I’m excited to start it all over again. Let me know if you have ideas/critiques/suggestions—I’m super open to brainstorming, I love to DIY, and my Pinterest app is OPEN!
Budget Breakdown for Cancelled Bay Area, California, Wedding for 150 Guests
I wanted to share the budget breakdown for my Summer 2020 wedding for 150 guests in a high cost of living area (Bay Area, California). Before we started planning, we created a budget based on lots of articles and online resources/calculators. But we were really surprised to see Bay Area quotes far exceed anything we calculated and had to re-up our budget to be more realistic a couple times. We had to cancel our wedding due to COVID-19 and instead got married in a wonderful virtual wedding. But since the wedding was (nearly) fully planned, I thought I'd share to help out others struggling to understand pricing. Some notes:
We chose a Sunday to reduce costs.
Our #1 priority for the wedding was guest enjoyment. So we spent the most on an awesome venue (with lots to do), good food, and shuttles (for guest safety/convenience).
We didn't want to cause any work for our families/wedding party, so we opted for hiring professionals instead of DIYing or asking family for help. (Purely a personal choice!)
We found that vendors were very kind and receptive to polite negotiation.
I'm not listing the vendors here for their privacy, but feel free to DM if you'd like recommendations! We absolutely loved all our vendors and felt happy to give them our money.
We fell in love with our venue from the moment we stepped onto it. However, we took some time to decide and toured several other venues because the original rental price was $22,000 for a Sunday. We asked for and were thrilled to receive a discount of $3,000 because our requested date was ~6 months away by the time we signed. The venue included a LOT of things and we felt that we/our guests would be really well taken care of, so that justified the price for us.
I reached out to 11 different caterers and was surprised that they were all quoting in the $22-30k range for 150 guests. And this didn't include the cost of alcohol. This was far more than I had been anticipating (or had read about in online budgeting articles). The caterer we ended up going with originally gave us a quote of $27-30k (based on which options were chosen). I had sent them (and some other caterers) honest emails thanking them for the quote but noting they were out of our budget. Some caterers would give suggestions on which options to remove to save money, but this caterer really impressed us by graciously extending us their 2019 pricing and offering a free tasting dinner (that we'd only have to pay tip for). The final contract included the following:
5 passed hors d’oeuvres during cocktail hour
2-course plated dinner (salad, main)
Passed petit fours (desserts) during dancing (instead of cake)
Non-alcoholic beverages, coffee, tea
Mixers, garnishes, ice for bar
Labor for food service and bartenders
Rentals of tablecloths, china, glassware, flatware, platters, bar setup
Included tax and tip
Beverages ($2,300)
We went with a beverage company to provide enough liquor for 150 guests. They would drop-off more than enough for all the guests before the wedding and pick-up any unused alcohol the next day.
Wine: 1 red, 1 white, 1 champagne
Beer: 2 types
Full bar for spirits & cocktails
Standard mixers
Sodas, sparkling water, and sparkling cider
Photography ($5,500)
Other than making our guests happy, this was the other item we cared a lot about. This was the range of quotes we received (all similar packages):
$4400: 1 photographer
$4900-5000: 3 photographers
$5500-5800: 2 photographers (<-- including ours)
$6500-7600: 2 photographers (<-- out of our price range)
Our photographer's package originally offered a physical album, but we asked to swap the album with one more hour of wedding day photography. They were really kind to accommodate this request. The final contract included the following:
Engagement session
8 hours wedding day coverage with second shooter
Online ordering gallery
High resolution edited images of engagement session and wedding day
We had our engagement session with them before COVID-19, and they were amazing. We were super happy with the pictures and used them for our website, invitations, and emails.
DJ ($1,600)
We looked through websites/reviews of 7 recommended DJs and had calls with 2 of them. They both gave the same price, but the DJ we ended up going with had a slight edge in offerings. (Things not offered by other DJ marked with asterisk.)
6 consecutive hours of coverage
DJ/MC at four different locations: ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, dancing
Setting up two speaker systems (in addition to using two built-in speaker systems)
Free dance lighting*
In-person check-in/planning appointment*
Free to add any songs not already in their library*
No deposit and payment only due 30 days after event* (<-- so thankful for this because we ended up cancelling the wedding)
Florals ($1,600)
We wanted to save on florals because (a) the venue was already beautiful and (b) florals don't directly impact guest experience. I researched/contacted 12 different florists and was surprised to learn that many Bay Area florists have (in my POV) extremely high minimum spend requirements (e.g. $4000, $6000, and $7000). Only 3 florists were somewhat close to our budget of $1600. The florist we went with had really beautiful work and was very respectful of our budget and understood our hopes to use lots of greenery, in-season/inexpensive flowers, small bouquets, etc. The final contract included the following:
Bridal bouquet
3 bridesmaid bouquets
5 wristlets for mothers/grandmothers
10 boutonnieres for groom, groomsmen, fathers, grandfathers, officiant, greeters
15 guest table centerpieces
Light dustings of flowers at welcome table, sweetheart table, guest book, bar, pictures hutch
Delivery and setup
Shuttles ($3,600)
Our venue had limited parking, we were concerned about guests driving after drinking, and the venue wasn't in the best location for UbeLyft pick-ups. So we had to get some shuttles for guests. Of the guests who had RSVPed to our wedding before it was cancelled, a quite large proportion of them were planning to take the shuttle, so I'd say it was a pretty necessary expense. We only had three options for shuttle companies, and there was a clear price difference between the one we chose and the other two. We arranged for four minibuses to do pick-up of guests before the wedding and drop-off after the wedding. The bus rides would have been ~30 minutes from the stops to the venue (one-way).
Insurance ($300)
The venue required liability insurance for guests and the venue. We got insurance before COVID and were so amazed/lucky/surprised to realize it included some cancellation/postponement coverage. We still lost a lot of money by cancelling, but the insurance definitely made it more palatable.
Clothing ($4,500)
I personally didn't want to spend too much on my dress because I'd only wear it once. But we figured that my husband would be able to wear a nice suit many times in the future, so we really splurged on that. (At the time, we were invited to 5 weddings just months after our own; obviously none of those weddings are happening in their original forms anymore.) Sub-breakdown of this category:
$600 - rental for my wedding dress + two different veils
$300 - three bridesmaid dresses from Birdy Grey*
$2800 - custom made-to-measure two-piece suit from Franco Uomo**
$800 - shirt, tie, cuff links from Franco Uomo
* After lots of indecision about bridesmaid dresses and the bridesmaids not being on the same page about a dress, Birdy Grey was an amazing stress-reliever. I just picked a color, and they all got to pick the different styles they wanted. I just bought them all gift cards that they could use to cover the cost of their dresses. ** Getting to pick all the fabric, buttons, thread colors, style, etc. for the suit was one of the most fun things my husband and I did for wedding planning. So much more fun for me than dress shopping. :D
Rings ($3,300)
My husband and I chose my engagement ring together ($2200). I wanted a diamond alternative, researched/got excited about moissanite, and found an awesome local jeweler (Or Diamond). We liked my ring so much that we went with the same jeweler for both our wedding bands ($1100 combined).
Hair & Makeup ($1,900)
This expense was honestly the toughest to swallow. I wanted to gift hair & makeup to my mother, mother-in-law, and 3 bridesmaids. We're all Asian or half-Asian, so a major criteria was having some examples of work on Asian ladies with subtle, clean makeup looks. I contacted 14 hair & makeup artists (HMUAs) and got the following ranges of quotes (from the ones that got back to me):
$1400 - 1 HMUA
$1900-2000 - 4 HMUAs
$2300 - 1 HMUA
$2700 - 2 HMUAs
$3000 - 1 HMUA
$3700 - 1 HMUA
I hadn't decided on an artist by the time I canceled the wedding, and I was almost glad/relieved that it was canceled so that I could stop stressing about this. If I had continued, I'd most likely have bitten the bullet and gone with one of the $1900 quotes.
Officiant ($600)
We asked our pastor for pre-marital counseling sessions and to officiate our wedding. The sessions were really valuable, and he did an excellent job officiating our online wedding.
Legal ($100)
This covered a marriage license and a couple marriage certificates. (We ended up spending a bit more on this than budgeted because we also needed an online ceremony.)
Invitations ($0)
We did zero paper for this wedding because we figured it was a good way to save money (and nice for reducing waste as well). (We have absolutely no problem with people that do create beautiful paper invitations -- we just didn't want to deal with the hassle of DIYing, addressing envelopes, etc.) For the Save The Date, we used a pretty template from GreetingsIsland (and paid $7 for the image). For the invitation, my husband created a graphic using one of our favorite engagement photos. We sent both Save The Date + invitation through email with links to our wedding website.
Hello! I hope other brides find this helpful! But first... PICTURES! Location: San Gabriel, Pasadena & Westminister, CA Guests: 250 Budgeted: $35,000 Spent: $32,959 Our wedding was a Chinese/Vietnamese-American Catholic wedding. My husband and I paid for the wedding out of our own pockets. It took us about 2 years to plan and save for the wedding. There were a lot of DIYs to cut costs and help from family and friends setting everything up. Now onto the details! Florals: $294
Bouquets: $129
We bought fresh wholesale flowers from the Flower District in DTLA. My husband and I woke up early in the morning to get the best picks and spent a couple of hours putting it together the day before the wedding. This made for great bonding time. In total we made four bridesmaid/groomswomen bouquets, a small one for the flower girl, the groom's boutineer, the bridal bouquet and flowers for the wedding cake. Our flowers were actually more expensive because it was so close to Valentine's Day. The ribbons and pins were from Michael's and Ann linens. Always use coupons!
Florals for the church alter: $130
We ordered two huge flower baskets for the church alter from the Flower District. We picked it up the day before the wedding since they didn't deliver.
Boutineers (family): $36
Bought ~50 ribbon flower pins from AliExpress for family, aunts and uncles. It's an Asian thing.
Ceremony (Catholic Church): $700
Church Donation: $500
This is pretty much the rental fee.
Coordinator for rehearsal: $50
Pianist: $150
He was actually the church's pianist so he knew exactly what to do.
Tea Ceremony: $479
Vu Quy signage + Floral Arch (rental): $75
This is a sign for wedding day. "Vu Quy" is the term used to signify leaving the house for the husband, and this sign is usually used at the bride's side of the wedding.
We didn't want to share the same tea cup among 20+ relatives
Roasted Pig: $280
Wine: $58
We bought wholesale from a winery
Wedding Trays (rental): $40
To put the gifts for the bride's family. The gifts included wine, fruit, teas and herbs (provided by groom's parents).
Reception: $18,253
Food/Venue: $13,984
Asian banquets charge by the table and each table seats 10 guests--we had 25 round tables + Sweetheart table. The venue included the wedding cake, hors d'oeuvre during cocktail hour, a 9-course family style meal per table and soda. We also paid for special meals for guests that had dietary restrictions and our vendors (MC + Photo/Video team). We had the place from 3PM for set up till 11PM. The venue cleaned everything themselves.
Going with an asian banquet made everything so much easier. It's affordable and it includes everything like tables, chair, table clothes, glassware, plates, lighting and etc.
Open Bar: $1,856
Early on in the wedding planning, my husband and I knew we wanted an open bar cuz a majority of our guests love to drink. One of the deciding factors of our reception banquet was that they had an open bar option in the package. This meant one less vendor for me to worry about. Other banquet halls that we checked out were BYOB/hire your own bartenders. We paid for four hours of the premium menu. They were also very VERY generous with the alcohol so everyone had a blast. They also included virgin drink menu for kids. After doing the math, if each guest had at least one drink, it'll be $7 per head. So it was worth it in my opinion. And at the end of the night, everyone had enough liquid courage to get onto the dance floor.
Emcee + Tip: $550
We hired an MC that spoke Cantonese/Mandarin. She was the MC of a previous wedding we attended. She had a great presence and knew how to keep the crowd going with games.
DJ: $619
The DJ was actually the manageson of the owner so we got a discount when we hired him.
Photobooth: $500
We rented a photobooth for four hours. The package included unlimited use, custom artwork/templates, onsite attendant, CD/cloud download of all photos, props and delivery/setup/tear down.
Sweetheart Table Decor: $173
This included flower row from Aliexpress, candles from Ikea, various sizes of vases from Dollar Tree, Ikea and Burlington Coat Factory.
Table Center Piece: $291
These were completely DIY and we made 25 of these. I bought candle holders and glass bowl from Dollar Tree, fake flowers from AliExpress and glued them all together. As much as I love fresh flowers, I couldn't bring myself to spend thousands on them for them to wilt in a couple of days. It's been a couple of months and I still see my centerpieces at my guests homes!
Wedding favors: $205
I ordered 250 wedding favor boxes from AliExpress and put two ferror rochers into each. The ferror rochers were on sale at Costco. The downside was we had to fold all 250 boxes ourselves. This gave us something to do during those Netflix nights.
Card box: $21
Since this was an Asian wedding, all our guests brought card gifts (e.g. checks, cash, giftcards).
Sparklers: $28
I highly suggest doing an exit with sparklers. It made for awesome pictures/video.
Cake topper: $35
My husband and I are into anime instead of ordering a typical take topper from Etsy, we opted to order a couple of bootleg Nendoroids off of AliExpress to customize figures that look like us.
Photography + Videography: $9,161
Photography + Videography: $9,100
When my husband and I started planning our wedding, we agreed that if we were to splurge on anything, it'll be the photo/video. They were such a dream to work with. Everything went so smoothly because of them. They've worked with Asian weddings before so they knew the ins and out of our day/tradition. They'll tell me if I had a stray hair, if my husband had to move his hand an inch, or to fix my wedding dress. I have absolutely no regrets.
We paid for 14 hour coverage. It was a realllyyyy long day. I think there were about 8 of them with us the entire day.
We also paid extra to have them compile a 3-4min video of the wedding day. This was a great idea because instead of going through 14 hours of footage from multiple cameras, we already have a video to look back on to relive this special day.
City Hall Permit: $61
Some places require a permit for wedding photos. Double check yours!!
Attire: $2,228
Wedding Dress: $1,098
I ultimately decided to rent my dress instead of purchasing it. The rental included the wedding dress (obviously), alterations (two sessions), veil, earrings, hair accessories and dry cleaning. My wedding dress was Perla by Kitty Chen (MSRP ~$2.3k).
Bride's Shoes + Inserts: $97
I bought two pairs of Jewel Badgley Mischka that were both on sale/clearance ($65 + $26) at Nordstroms and Macys. One for the wedding day, and another shorter, more comfortable one for the evening. I highly recommend buying inserts ($6). I was standing, walking and dancing all day (14+hrs).
Evening Dress + Alterations: $275
Something to change into since the wedding dress was so heavy. Plus I wanted to wear something super sparkly and glittery and gold. This was the best time to do it.
Garter Belt: $3
I just bought a cheap one from AliExpress since it was gonna be thrown around in the evening anyway.
Bridesmaid/Groomswomen dress: $208
I bought them the infinity dress so they can be creative and customize it to however they like. In the end, they all ended up looking the same anyway lol
Grooms Suit + Alterations: $179
From the Fashion District in DTLA. This includes shirt, jacket, pants, tie and vest.
I bought 6 satin pairs from AliExpress. Funny story, the pants tore on the butt area while taking jumping pictures. It just couldn't contain this booty. I recommend buying something stretchy.
Traditional Vietnamese Outfit- Bride (rental): $75
Includes the traditional hat, alterations, and cleaning fee
Traditional Vietnamese Outfit- Groom (rental): $35
My husband actually rented the groomsmen style. He didn't like the groom's style or else it would have been $75.
There were two MUAs. This includes bride + five other girls. We started getting ready around 4:30AM till around 9:30AM.
Nails: $155
I paid for my mom and I's nails. It was our first time getting mani professionally done so it was such a treat.
Hair Extensions: $85
I have pretty thin hair so I needed the extra volume.
Misc: $609
Wedding Invitation + Postage: $256
Marriage Certificate: $91
for California!
Sheraton - Junior Suite: $262
I actually used my Chase points for this. The bridesmaids and I slept overnight in the room. We also rented this suite to get our hair and makeup done.
Thank you if you've made it this far! Feel free to ask questions, if any :)
Wedding anniversary coming up in a few months, I have no happy memories.
My husband [24] and I [22F] are a fairly young couple and were engaged very young (20 & 19, respectively). We’ve known each other since I was 16 and he, 18. With that out of the way: We had a really sweet and lovely laidback romance. DH is happy to go along with me, and I’m usually the one dragging him all over. There was a ton of chemistry from the very first time we met. After we started dating a few years after meeting, we were engaged within 2 months. We did not want a large wedding — we joked from the get-go that we would get married in ratty sweats by an Elvis impersonator, then go for pizza with friends after. Once we actually set a date and started considering what we wanted, both of us came to the decision that we would get married on Halloween and have pizza with friends, then go to a haunted house afterwards. We just wanted to have fun, a big wedding sounded stressful and expensive and wasn’t the scene for either of us. Cue MIL: We kept our engagement a secret for a few months — I was still in college and we were long distance. The very first time she met me, she humiliated me in front of his entire extended family. The visit he’d made to see me before had been when we were engaged and, naturally, there was celebratory sex. A couple of marks were left on his neck below his shirt collar. You couldn’t see them unless you went looking and pulled his shirt aside, no big deal. MIL, within ten minutes of meeting me, shouts in front of his whole family that she “did not like those marks on her son’s neck, and she better never see them there again”. DH and I were flabbergasted and thoroughly embarrassed. She would not stop asking about the ring I wore on my ring finger. It was tiny and delicate and did not look like a wedding ring at all, and I told her I couldn’t remember where I’d gotten it because the engagement was still mum. She kept hounding us, asking if it meant anything. It was stressful. Moving on, once we revealed the engagement she acted like it was hers. She posed me for engagement announcement pictures, then insisted on taking engagement photos. She told me to dress warmly for the pictures... Then, surprise, we were having them done in a tropical garden. I looked completely out of place with an ivory winter dress, scarf, and boots. The pictures are horribly embarrassing. She insulted my engagement ring, then tried to pawn off one of her old engagement rings (Tiffany diamonds) saying that DH would never be able to afford a rock like that. I did not accept it — I never cared about his money and I didn’t want to take anything, much less a ring worth a fortune, from her, especially after she insinuated that I’d be concerned with something so materialistic as what ring he proposed or married me with. Once she heard our wedding plans, she lost her everloving mind. It was a constant barrage of her insisting on a “real” wedding, and we lost count of how many times she tried taking the reigns. Eventually, I got tired of telling her no and dealing with the aftermath from her tantrums and gave in. DH, like with most things, went along with me because he thought it was what I wanted. MIL told us not to worry, she would pay for everything, which is the ONLY reason why I finally caved and said whatever. She ignored everything I wanted. She insulted my dress that I had bought myself months before. She would not shut up about how DH and I needed to lose weight (I was only 120 pounds...). Eventually we were just a couple of days out from the wedding, I was incredibly depressed because I had (stupidly) been hoping to bond with MIL because I had no relationship with my own mother. That obviously didn’t happen. It was time to meet the officiant and lay out the ceremony and vows. We met her and found out that, surprise surprise, MIL had tried insisting that she wanted to be there, too. Officiant told us that she usually saves this for just the bride and groom and had told her no. I blurted, “Oh, thank goodness, I appreciate that.” Officiant looks concerned and asks what the process has been like so far — she’s a pastor and tells us that this conversation is confidential, so we tell her everything. She sympathized. We ask for a non-religious ceremony because we’re both agnostics and I have significant religious trauma. She agrees and says it will be no trouble. We get home from the meeting and MIL is on the phone with someone, but we think nothing of it. DH is called over to her. MIL goes absolutely off the hinges and starts screaming at him about how she didn’t raise him to be this way, he needs to stick to his roots, he needs to stand up to me, why doesn’t he want god in his wedding, is this my choice, etc. Apparently the pastor was friends with MIL and divulged our entire conversation and meeting with MIL RIGHT AFTER we left. AFTER telling us it was confidential. With my religious trauma, I felt violated yet again. DH told her that it’s our wedding, this was our choice, and we thought that would be the end of it. The night before the wedding, I was up until 2am making floral centerpieces because MIL thought I didn’t need a florist, I could DIY. I was so tired and I hated them. She picked up flowers for my bouquet — they were half dead and horribly wilted, so I had to wake up at 7am on the day of my wedding to get flowers from the local grocery store to make my own bouquet under a time crunch. MIL says it looks awful. Big whoop, thanks. I’m late to my own wedding because hair and makeup were running late. My hair stylist was wonderful and so sweet, I broke down crying and told her everything. She gave me a huge hug and told me to call her later if I needed margaritas and a gal pal. 12/10. The MUA on the other hand... She ignored me when I told her I have a lot of makeup allergies and can only use a couple of specific brands. She used makeup that I am allergic to. My face was ungodly itchy through my entire wedding day and I had a terrible rash once I finally got to take it all off. MIL yelled at me when I took it off because makeup was $100. She didn’t care that I was starting to have difficulty breathing and felt feverish. I finally get to the venue, the music starts, I’m trying really hard not to sneak a shot of tequila from the bar before I walk in. I get in there and I freeze in terror. The hall is decorated so tacky and trashy, it was hideous. MIL is in a black cocktail dress at my summer wedding... I know almost no one in the room, it’s all MIL’s family and friends. My family has one table, and it includes my only 2 friends. Apparently MIL couldn’t fit anymore people in, except for those she wanted there. DH’s dad’s (FIL) side (who have always been so kind and sweet to me) were left standing in the back of the venue. I finally remember to smile and walk. I get to the altar. Then the officiant begins reading off a ceremony that was ten times more religious and Christian than the sample ceremony script she told us was her usual go-to. My heart sank and I felt panicky the entire ceremony because, yay, religious trauma. MIL was staring at us with a snarky smile and watching my face the whole time. I stared back and probably had the most unbecoming look on my face, but I didn’t care. DH was begging me with his eyes not to cause a scene because our venue was in a hall inside of a local fine restaurant, and if I had stormed out random people would’ve seen. I tried so hard not to cry, but I did — everyone thought it was happy tears, but I was so hurt and angry. For the rest of the reception, I couldn’t even sit down because everyone kept yelling at me about “when is cake?” THEN, one of MIL’s family, who I don’t even know, asks me when the baby is due. I was not pregnant. I did not look pregnant. Apparently there was some sort of rumor circulating that DH and I were only getting married because I was pregnant and that’s why the wedding was such short notice... I’d had a miscarriage (accidental and by DH) the year before. Nobody outside of DH and I knew, he hasn’t told anyone, and I’m still sad about it even now. So, that comment was insulting and very distasteful, as well as deeply hurtful, and MIL turned out to be the source of it. Shocker. DH’s dad’s (FIL) side wasn’t even allowed in the hall after the ceremony. They had to sit at a regular table in the main dining area in exile. DH’s only living grandmother did me proud though and was super petty, remarking to MIL, “Oh, MIL, I was so shocked that you invited me, I never thought my name would grace your thoughts ever again. It’s just wonderful to see my grandson and his beautiful bride be married. Isn’t she gorgeous?” MIL looked like she’d sucked on a lemon. The only halfway decent memory I have isn’t even my wedding. DH’s dad threw us a small reception dinner at a local diner with their side of the family. They were so kind and understanding, his tías and cousins hugged me and said they were sorry it didn’t go well. His stepmom hugged me and kissed my head and told me she was there if I needed to talk. Oh, and after? We were left with almost $1,500 of debt. We didn’t even want the bullshit anyway. I’m so angry and hurt over it still even though we’re coming up on our third anniversary. I hate myself for letting her bully me. I hate her for not listening when DH tried to step in and set hard boundaries with her. I hate her for making me feel ugly on my wedding day. I hate her for making me feel stupid. I hate myself for being so naïve to think even for a moment that she would’ve been nice and motherly during a particularly vulnerable time in my life. I hate myself for letting her ruin a day that should’ve been spent briefly at the courthouse, then on to a barbecue and pizza with friends. I’m so angry at her, but I’m angry at myself for not having enough spine to just put my foot down and telling her to piss off. I know this kind of turned into a rant, I’m just hurting over it a lot right now and I’m going to therapy. My appointment yesterday unearthed a lot of feelings that I’d tried pushing down, so I needed a space where I knew others would understand. Thanks for listening.
Long Recap of Tiny Wedding | June 05, 2020 | MA/NH | 10 guests | $5K
https://preview.redd.it/0y3qhf6kqa951.jpg?width=3087&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d3de9eb758fbd1f410b0a954d69271cdeb801f6 This is super long but I found recaps so helpful when planning (and re-planning) so here is the recap of our tiny wedding during the COVID-19 pandemic! Pictures first Location: Lincoln, MA (ceremony in public park) and NH (reception at my parents’ house) Date: June 05, 2020 Guests: 10 (immediate family and 2 close friends) Total Cost: around $4700 (about $2200 on items we had not planned to spend on for our original wedding) Original Plan: My husband(!) and I got engaged in May 2019 on our 5th anniversary and started planning right away, trying to split the planning evenly as much as possible. Our original wedding was planned for June 05, 2020 at Tower Hill Botanic Garden. That wedding has a guest list of ~130 and a budget around $50,000 and has been postponed to June 04, 2021 where we’ll celebrate Wedding Part II with a vow renewal and big reception. We decided to postpone in early April because we had many guests who would be traveling via plane / 65+ and we weren’t feeling comfortable with that aspect. All of our vendors postponed easily, for which we are very grateful! We knew we still wanted to be married on our original date and we are very lucky that the majority of our immediate family lives nearby so they could be there. Ceremony Venue:Pierce Park (Free): For the ceremony, we wanted somewhere we could have a (mostly) private, quiet ceremony surrounded by beautiful trees / gardens for photos. After looking at lots of parks and gardens, we landed on Pierce Park in Lincoln, MA, which is a public park and the grounds of a historic home. We contacted Pierce House a few weeks in advance and they let us have our short ceremony in the park for free and were so kind and helpful! Reception Venue: My parents’ house (Free): We had our semi socially distanced reception on my parents’ large back deck, about a 40 min drive from the ceremony location. Photographer:Solare Wedding Photography ($500): I can’t say enough wonderful things about Cory from Solare!! She was so amazing and easy to work with. She photographed the ceremony, followed by about an hour and a half of family photos and portraits of us around the ceremony location. She very kindly offered to wrap the cost of this into our package for next year though we did give her some payment for the day because she is amazing and went well out of her way to help us out! Our friend who is great with a camera kindly captured some additional photos of the reception for us. Attire: (~$320): My dress was a Dress the Population dress bought on eBay for $140. I bought (and returned) about a dozen dresses and had a Zoom fashion show with my bridesmaids which was really fun! Alterations (getting the bust and shoulders taken in) were about $60. The belt was a gift from my mom from Etsy ($35). Shoes were from Target ($20, purchased the day before the wedding) with shoe clips from White House Black Market that I already owned. The purse was “something borrowed” from my Mom. Jewelry was all pieces I already owned. My husband’s suit was one he already owned from Regan Clothiers - we have a family connection so he luckily already owned two custom suits. His tie and pocket square were from Tie Bar ($50) and cufflinks with our monogram from Etsy ($12). We both have different outfits for next year; we decided to have a more casual look at the “tiny” wedding and save our formal outfits for the big celebration (in part because my dress was still with the tailor and wouldn't be ready in time). Hair and Makeup: (~$180): I did my own hair and makeup with some help from my mom to place my hairpiece and veil. My hairpiece was from Dareth Colburn ($47 on sale) and veil was from Amazon ($35). Makeup was mostly stuff I already owned, though I did panic buy a bunch of makeup from Ulta last minute (~$100). VIP items were the setting spray and the lipstick which lasted all day. I wore stick-on nails from CVS and painted my toenails myself the night before since salons were still not open. Officiant:Michael Backer ($575): We found our officiant based on recommendations from our original DJ/venue. He was a great mix of serious and funny and he was very flexible. He helped us write a beautiful personalized ceremony and we will be using him again next year for our vow renewal. Music: (Free): The only music at the ceremony was our first dance immediately following the ceremony (we met ballroom dancing so couldn’t leave out the first dance) - we played the song off my phone plugged in to a portable speaker. We used a free trial of Pandora Premium (no ads) to play “French Cooking Radio” as the background music at the reception on a bluetooth speaker. Video: (Free): We set up two tripods, one with our DSLR camera and the other with my husband’s iPhone. The iPhone worked incredibly well! The DSLR cut out after 15 minutes. We did not want to deal with the hassle of live-streaming from the park (which had poor cell reception), but we’re glad we were able to share the full ceremony with a few family members who weren't able to travel to be with us. Food:Cucina Toscana (dinner - $270) and Cafe Madeleine (dessert - $205): We got takeout meals from a favorite Italian restaurant in Nashua and each guest chose their meal. My parents’ good friend offered to pick up the order, plate the meals, and bring them out to the deck for us. For “cocktail hour” we had some charcuterie and cheese. Dessert was from our favorite Boston café - an incredible chocolate cake and an assortment of macarons. I have always stated firmly that my wedding cake would be chocolate cake and I have no regrets! Bar: (~$350): We purchased our alcohol at the NH liquor outlet and Wegman’s about a week in advance. Because it was such a small group, we splurged on nice champagne, and also had a few bottles of wine and some assorted craft beer. Flowers:Anne’s Florals & Gifts (~$200): My mom handled ordering the flowers and worked with a local florist based on a few Pinterest photos I sent her. We got a bouquet for me, a boutonniere for my husband, and two centerpieces for the reception tables. They came out exactly how I wanted: colorful, spilling, textural bouquets. Wedding Rings: ($1700): We got both of our wedding bands from Scontsas, a local jeweler my family has used before, who found exactly what we were looking for when we went in to “just look” last winter. Not included in the cost: my engagement ring is a custom design with moissanite center stone from Cynthia Britt and my husband’s engagement ring is from Wedgewood Rings. Decor: (~$400?): Decor was a mix of pieces we had already bought for the big wedding and several curbside pickup trips to Michaels. We had a monogram made for us shortly after we got engaged (artist here), so we borrowed my mom’s Cricut to put the monogram on a few things. It’s hard to pin down the decor costs since we were pulling things together last minute with my family but I estimate everything altogether (tablecloths, twinkle lights, tealights, tulle, plastic plates, and various signs / frames / bits of decor) was around $350 - $400. Luckily, my family was able to borrow a few extra folding tables and had plenty of chairs for us to use. We took the two days off before the wedding to go up to my parents house and arrange the deck, hang up twinkle lights, etc. Honeymoon: (not included in the costs; we didn't really track honeymoon costs): Since we weren’t able to travel (especially not to Italy, our original honeymoon), we decided to take a week off of work and do an around-the-world staycation. Each day we picked a theme and based the day around that. So on Spanish day we ordered tapas, made sangria, and visited a sculpture park; on Bali day we ordered açai bowls, had a home spa day, made mai tais, and ordered Asian fusion; on Italy day we visited a winery, ate a charcuterie board, got cannolis delivered, etc. It wound up being super fun and the themed activities made it feel like a honeymoon so we didn't spend the whole week doing apartment projects or scrolling on our phones. What Went Well:
Honestly, the tiny wedding went just about as well as we could have hoped. All of our vendors were incredible and our families were super patient and flexible. It was a lovely day shared with several of our closest people. We both felt very loved and really enjoyed the intimate ceremony. We very much enjoyed the DIY details despite the stress of trying to plan a wedding while guidelines shifted nearly daily.
We highly recommend visiting your ceremony location beforehand at the same time of day so you can get a feeling for lighting, best angles for video, etc.
It was so nice to have a relaxing day off before the wedding to wrap up little details and to be able to relax together the morning of the wedding. I didn’t start getting ready until around noon so we had the whole morning to just enjoy the excitement together at home.
What Could Have Been Improved:
My hair went flat pretty quickly. I’m not sure what we could have done to fix that since it was 85 degrees and very humid but this was a minor detail that I stressed about during photos.
We packed a “go bag” with a bunch of stuff in it but didn’t separate it out into categories which made things hard to find. We should have had 1 bag with cameras/ceremony electronics, 1 bag with hair and makeup touch-up, 1 bag with photo props, etc. I bought a parasol to take a few photos with and totally forgot it in the car.
We did not rehearse the ceremony and because of timing, we were the last to arrive at the ceremony location. Without a processional, we just went from setting up cameras straight into the ceremony. This did present a few minor awkward moments - me handing my bouquet off to my sister randomly during the ceremony, etc. and we did sort of miss the pomp and circumstance so lucky for us… we will get our full processional next year ;) We also forgot to introduce the few family members who hadn’t met before which was no big deal but would have been nice.
COVID Notes:
We tried to fairly strictly isolate ourselves in the weeks leading up to the wedding and our families did as well (some people had to go in to work, etc. but everyone made a conscious effort to stay home as much as possible).
We asked everyone to bring masks and their own chairs to the ceremony. Most everyone opted to stand and no one wore their masks, though family units did stand apart during the ceremony and we were outside the whole time.
No one was going to stop our family from hugging us a few times throughout the day but we tried to minimize contact outside of a few quick family photos. I’m sure we could have been stricter but everyone felt comfortable with the level of precaution. I think it helped massively that everything was outdoors and it was a small group of people.
One of the most stressful parts of planning was trying to get the license while most town halls were closed. In the end, we drove 2 hours to Western MA where my grandmother knew the town clerk in her small town who agreed to do the paperwork in the parking lot with masks. We were calling in all the favors to pull off the tiny wedding!
It wasn’t what we initially planned and it certainly wasn’t a perfect day but overall, we are really glad to be married. We didn’t want to put our marriage on hold and we’re really pleased with how our “minimony” turned out. Now we’re enjoying a break from planning for the “big wedding” next year :) I know this was long winded but I hope this is helpful to anyone trying to pivot their plans! I’m happy to answer any questions!
Savings- $10,000 J opened a 1 year CD (certificate of deposit). I did 1 year and a 6 month CD with our credit union/bank. All three CDs had interest rates between 1.5-3.5%and we each contributed an average of $175/paycheck for a little over a year. We purchased a lot of items on our credit card for points, then paid the debt off once the CD’s matured. Paying in cash saved us money when vendors had a cash discount. We paid cash for centerpieces, wedding dress, alterations, cake and photographer. Guest list We invited 60 people and 50 people RSVP’d-45 adults, 3 children, and 2 infants. When we strayed from our small wedding vision we always turned back to one focal point: the purpose of a wedding for strangers to become family. There would be absolutely no guilt invites- we all have that embarrassing uncle and no, he does NOT need an invite. Invites, RVSPs & Thank you cards – $60 I automatically yeeted the concept of an invitation suite as soon as I realized how wasteful it seemed. We sent the wedding invites out with our Christmas cards in late November for our late January wedding; the timing was perfect. The Wilton print-at-home invites were gifted from a friend who had an extra pack leftover from her wedding. If I needed more than 40 invites I wouldn’t have been able to use this gift. I customized the classic white invites by adding an inlay of lilac and pale yellow for a pop of color. I didn’t need to do save the dates since my engagement was only 5 months. Office depot printed seating chart poster ($15)50 postcard—style RSVPS ($30)regular and postcard stamps ($15) Venue-$4,650.00Union Street Public House, Old Town Alexandria, VA Cost includes food, cake cutting fee, 3 hour premium open bar, linens, décor setup, audio equipment, personal waitress, 12% tax, and 20% tip. One day we were out for lunch and he turned to me and said, “This is the place!” We had the ceremony, cocktail hour and reception at Union Street Public House, a historic waterfront restaurant in Alexandria, Va. We rented the venue from 11-4:30 including setup and cleanup. The ceremony was sweet and simple. A 45 min cocktail ‘hour’ immediately followed (2 passed apps and open bar). We even had our own waiter for the sweetheart table. She was amazing and came to us with a plate of apps and drinks while we mixed and mingled. The passed apps were great! The crab cake sliders were larger than expected and the caprese skewers were flavorful. After taking pics with family and chowing down on crab cake sliders, we sat down for brunch. It started off with a choice of soup/salad and our meal options were shrimp & grits, gumbo, Belgian waffles, omelets and impossible burger kebobs. We did speeches, a hot cocoa toast and cake cutting to wrap up the day. We exited the restaurant to ‘We are Family’ then headed over to the hotel to change for the after party at a local game room-style bar. Officiant- $190 I found Susan in my county’s clerk’s office directory. There was a $50 State fee for the ceremony, $30 license, and $40 for travel/parking. The readings were perfect in every way and she helped calm our nerves! Hotel rooms- $1,325The Alexandrian We splurged in the most unexpected place. We understood the financial difficulties of our bridal party (pregnant 2nd time mother, broke students, poor parents, etc.) and took on costs or chose affordable alternates to make things easier for everyone involved. We reserved a 2 night stay at the 600+sqft Eleonore Suite for $1,000 including parking. We also covered 2 rooms and parking for bridesmaids at $325 to make getting ready at 8am easier. Dress/veil/jewelry- $1,400 I covered the cost of 1 bridesmaid dress ($60 from lulus.com). The necklace and watch were gifted by a groomsman. I wore his mom’s broche on my $30 ‘fur’ shawl from Amazon. · Wedding dress, headband, and veil from a local shop - $1,300+. · After party dress from JCPenneys-$12 · ‘rose gold’ gauges from Hot Topic- $18. · 2 pair of shoes for the day for $85. One sophisticated pair to match my dress and a pair to show my fun personality for the after party. Alterations- $500 My dress had 3 layers of scalloped lace, satin, tulle and a train! I knew alterations would be costly but didn’t expect it to be that high. I needed a 2.5 inch hem, a bustle and for the side to be taken in .25 inches. I saved $100 by paying in cash Tux and shoes- $1,495 My husband rented the tuxes online for himself and 4 groomsmen for $1200. My dad didn’t have a nice fitting tux so we bought him one from JCPenneys for $210 with a 15% coupon. Decorations- $365 & Flowers- $30 I opted for a pretty venue so that I didn’t need to go heavy on DIY décor or stress over coordinating the setup/breakdown/transportation of decorations. I found the sola wood centerpieces on weddingswap for $250 for 8 centerpieces and 3 signs (no phones, gifts, & cake). It’s a valuable resource for buying and selling wedding items A Ring Security backpack and sunglasses for the 2yr old ring bearer with decoy ring box was $25. I went a bit crazy at the Hobby Lobby 50% off wedding and floral sale. I spent $105 for 2 lavender bouquets, 1 accent flower, 8 lavender boutonnieres, card box, guest book, lace and bell wands for the flower girl, cake cutting set, gold paint I went to Wegmans (grocery store) to buy glittered baby breath for $12. The MOH gifted me burlap lace ribbon to wrap the bouquets in, a photo wall with white curtains and 3 flower wreaths from my mom’s wedding as a backdrop. I borrowed a coworkers hot glue gun to complete projects. Hair and nails - $35 Since photos started at 10:30am, having our hair done professionally didn’t really fit with the schedule. We all did a hainails trial run during our bachelorettes party- loose curls then a low side bun as a backup. I did a simple curly up do with lots of hairspray. Everyone brought their hair tools and makeup pallets so we could take turns helping each other with hair and makeup. With 8 women in one room, one of us HAD to of known what to do. It worked out wonderfully and was so fun! The bridesmaids and I all coordinated our nails. We used short nails Kiss Brand nails for $8 from Walgreens. The medium nails popped off of my bridesmaids on our test run, so stick with short nails. We each bought new mascara, eyeliner and lip tint for around $25. **Cakes- $25 ($85 gifted)** Harris Teeter ($65/sheet) - they’re all moist and not overly sweet. The Harris Teeter cake for the guests was marble with whipped cream topping. As for our cake, we chose a decadent 8-inch triple layer chocolate with cocoa shavings and buttercream frosting for $20. The gold painted cake topper said Married AF (Always and Forever for the Boomers) was bought from Esty for $25. My sister-in-law picked up the cakes that morning and also was gracious enough to cover that cost. Birdseed OrnamentFavors- $5 The heart cookie cutters were $5 at Michaels. The MOH and MOB bought the birdseed, suet, 'Thank you' tags, twine, and cellophane bags. We did an assembly line to make 50 ornaments that day. Music- free onPandora Plus I did most of the wedding planning, but my husband really ran with the baton on this one. He signed up for a Pandora Plus free trial 3 weeks before the wedding. The free trial lasts a month and we cancelled the before the month was over. He made 3 custom playlists for the day. We had our outgoing best man control the music and moderated the speeches. The A/V equipment was provided by the venue. Photography- $1900 The photographer started photos at 10:30am and our last shots at were around sunset at 5:30. The price included travel, tip, a custom coffee table album, a online album, a USB drive, and 1 large stretch canvas of our favorite image. The venue was walking distance from Captain’s row, an iconic cobblestone street, and Wales Alley, a brick street with ivy laced historic buildings. Having the water right behind us and huge stable doors really set the mood for the photoshoots. Ring for Husband- $390 My ring price in unknown and not included in the total. It’s a rose gold Charles & Colvard Moissanite engagement and wedding ring set with channel stones. I bought my husband a thick rose gold band to match my rings. JCPennys had a coupon that could be used on jewelry. Bridal Party gift baskets- $150 I did a mix of beauty/health items, Black History flash cards(very timely), and leggings for the four bridesmaids. The flower girl had a butterfly shaped basket with Frozen branded stuff and a unicorn headband. Website- Free I used the Knot for their website and included all of our RSVP’s, registry, pre-engagement pics, the party info along with travel and lodging. After party- Free Since we got married on a Monday night of a MLK Day, we didn’t have to reserve space at a hip hangout spot in the city. We did karaoke and bowling for about 3 hours between heavy drinks and light apps. The after party attendees paid for our food/drinks/games. Total $12,600 We paid for the wedding using $10,000 saved and used almost $3,000 of savings that was earmarked for our house (We closed and moved in March!). We splurged on tuxes and the hotel. Things we didn’t do: - We chose not to do engagement photos since we already have cute photos together. - We got married during off season on a Monday. It worked out to be a holiday that wasn’t busy in the day time so the venue cost was more affordable. Looking forward to having more anniversaries off work/on a holiday!! - We opted not to do the awkward dances. - We did not have a videographer, DJ, Day of Coordinator, or florist. - We came to the restaurant to rehearse the night before, but didn’t do a formal dinner.
My (cancelled) 6/6/2020 wedding Budget recap: $45K, DIY venue, 220 guests, Downtown Los Angeles wedding
We made the official moves to cancel our wedding this week - notifying wedding party, then guests, then vendors. We don't plan to have the same big party, and are instead hoping to get married as soon as City Hall opens back up for us to get a license, and doing a smaller Catholic ceremony/reception once this is all over. As a final farewell to the would-be wedding, I wanted to still post a budget recap as we had taken a lot of effort to budget for everything needed. Some of this stuff is obviously an estimation as it would have depended on our final numbers, but this was our general estimates based on 220 guests. Wish I could have written this with photos to share, but I still hope it offers some clarity for couples planning a big wedding in a HCOL area. I included comments on my negotiations as well as how cancellation worked with these vendors. Financial Summary Total Cost of the Wedding: ~$45K Our financial contribution: $40K My mom's financial contribution: $5K wedding gift, plus floral costs/labor and other expenses picked up here and there *Additional spending not included in budget (rings, outfits, alterations): $5760 **Total value of discounts and negotiations: ~$4200 ***Total value of wedding if you included discounts and additional spending: ~$54,960 Breakdown Venue & Insurance - $6500 - Seventh/Place venue ($6500) Venue was going to be the Seventh/Place in DTLA. It's a renovated warehouse space that fit our large guest count, had a lovely outdoor patio, had a 16 hour rental period and included tables and chairs as part of the rental price. Pricing also came with uplights lining the walls,string lights across the ceiling, and 2 security guards. It was a really simple but romantic space, and felt very us. They also had a full open vendor policy (except for florals and valet) so we could really shop around and find solutions to fit our budget. Price was originally $7150, negotiated a $650 discount for paying upfront. They have a Force Majeure clause and I requested 100% of our payment back on Friday. Still waiting to hear back from them but this is one I intend to fight tooth and nail for. Food and Beverage - $24,894.03 - Hungry Bear Catering (Would have been $18007.28, we paid a $7946 deposit) Food was my #1 priority and going to be the biggest expense. Most traditional caterers were priced pretty similarly with more 'meh' food, and if I was going to spend thousands on catering, I wanted it to be memorable. This price includes 3 passed apps (tofu baos, crab cakes, beef tataki) and a family style meal of bread/buttefurikake chex mix on the table, 1 salad course, 2 mains (filet mignon and miso salmon), and 2 sides (fish glazed brussel sprouts and miso carbonara). Anyone with dietary restrictions got their own meal, as did kids. They also provided cake cutting, 3 welcome drinks, and coffee/tea service in this price. Price does not include equipment which we had to rent separately. Their base price is usually $80/person before tax and service charges, but we were able to negotiate down to $66.50/person without removing any services. Per the contract we would have gotten 50% of the deposit back for cancellation, but we decided to have them keep the cost and are working with them to donate meals to a food bank instead - MTB Event Rentals ($2300) Estimate for bring in glassware, serving ware for the tables, and a full kitchen setup. MTB had the most reasonable prices and were great to work with. We were able to cancel and get 100% of our deposit back. - Linens/Table Runners (~$600) An amazing fellow Wedditor offered to make cheesecloth table runners for me at cost. It came out to around $320 for 20 17 ft. white cheesecloth runners (around $1/ft). I wanted a clean tablescape with white linens, white runner and greenery down the table. These added a soft ethereal look to the table while staying minimalistic. I was also going to buy linens and napkins online. - Compostable Plates ($450) Estimate for compostable dinner plate, salad plate, dessert plate, and family style platters for the table. - Smoking Gun Bartending ($676.75) Found these guys on Thumbtack and so glad I did! This was for 2 bartenders and 1 bar back ($20/hr per staff). Price also included ice for the whole night, 2 mobile bar setups and coffee service and equipment. Even though we only paid for coffee for 150 people, they were going to bring enough cups for 220 to use for coffee and tea. - Cups/Mixers/Alcohol ($2300) We were going to do wine, beer, and limited liquor (whiskey, gin, vodka) with a couple signature cocktails and mixers for basic cocktails. Cups I priced out through Amazon and were a combination of plastic 12 oz cups for beer, small 9 oz cups for cocktails and water, plus 12 oz stemless wine glasses. - Whole Foods Cake ($300) I did the traditional cake tasting and it was so fun to try cool, unique flavors, but after getting a $665 quote, we decided that desserts were low priority for us. We were planning to do 3 round cakes on a tiered cake stand, plus some extra half sheets to serve. - Si Paletas cart ($400) I am MOST sad about this!! I was excited to use the money we saved on cake to have boozy popsicles served during cocktail hour from a paletas cart. I think it would have been a really fun addition to a summer wedding. - Welcome Happy Hour ($500) We were going to host a welcome happy hour from 4-7 PM the Friday before the wedding. We provided some food and drinks to start things off, but made it clear on our website that additional drinks & food can be purchased with happy hour pricing. Photography/Videography (9.5%) - $3800 - River Medlock Photography ($3000) Photography was our #2 priority and budgeted $3-4K for photography. However, with the tea ceremony in the morning, we needed 10 hours of photography and found the going rate for 10 hours was $4500-$6K. Luckily, I found Jana + Jamie of River Medlock Photography through A Practical Wedding and I loved their work. For SoCal weddings, they offer a flat $3k package for full day coverage (12 hours max). Still deciding what we want to do about this vendor. Ideally, I'd love for them to still photograph our future celebration, but if not, we will forfeit the $600 deposit. - Last Light Pictures videography ($800) We found Last Light Pictures through a recommendation on Reddit and they offered a raw footage package for $600, plus guest interviews for $200. We didn't have to pay a deposit for LLP so we just cancelled our contract with them. Stationary/Paper Goods (1.13%) - $452 - Paperless Post Save the Dates ($50) Did digital STDs but I accidentally picked a layout that cost coins. Didn't realize it until I was finished designing and inputting addresses, and was too lazy to go back and redesign a free one. The $50 was my lazy tax. - Invitation Design ($99) Bought a custom watercolor logo for our wedding suite ($50). We incorporated the heart shaped rock by Land's End in SF (the location where we got engaged), a California poppy (husband's CA roots), a lotus (my Vietnamese heritage) and our cat. I also had her do a rendering of our wedding venue ($49). We used the logo on all our paper goods and designed on Canva. - Invitations ( ~$195) We printed invites in Vietnam and got 180 envelopes with our return address on them, 2-sided invite cards, a 1-sided details card, and a 1-sided invite card for our Catholic ceremony (smaller, separate ceremony). I paid ~$60 for the deposit and then my mom ended up paying the rest when she picked it up. Cost is an estimate because of conversion rates. Price also includes 200 paper boxes which we put chocolates in and laid at each place setting for favors. It was unnecessary, but the boxes cost $6 total and my mom really wanted it, so we let her handle it. - Postage ($0) I took stamps from work and expensed some more so we paid $0 for postage. Unethical? Maybe. But the company that just acquired us closed our SF office and require us to work from home 100% without reimbursing us for any internet or phone costs, so I consider this part of my benefits package. - Website ($72) made the mistake of using Squarespace before trying any of the free websites. I just loved how much control you had over the website and could not go back, so we ended up just purchasing a year hosting and custom domain. My husband works for a university so we got the education discount. - Signage ($120) Planned to print a welcome sign and seating chart on Vistaprint for about $20 each. My friend had given me a nice frame from her wedding, which we used for the welcome sign, and we were going to buy another poster frame for $10 for the seating chart. Michael's at easels for sale for $12 each. - Other paper goods ($50) Was going to design the programs (bilingual wedding, programs were necessary), menu and bar signs on Canva. Staples sells cardstock for $50. Entertainment (3.5%) - $1387.96 - Bouquet Sound DJ ($1095) By the time we got to picking a DJ, we were pretty decision fatigued. Bouquet Sound played at my friend's wedding and we enjoyed it, so I reached out to them.The owner offered us a referral rate, which we were able to negotiate down a little further. This was for ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception music. Original package was $1495, he offered us a referral rate of $1295, and I negotiated a little further by expressing that we wanted to go with them but my budget was $1k. He brought it down to $1095 if we were able to pay the deposit same day. We will forfeit the deposit but still need to contact them about it. - Photobooth ($450) Was planning to DIY a photo station but ended up finding DJ Michael Han based on Reddit referrals. We booked his photobooth for 4 hours, 6 X 8 strips and digital gallery for $350. Super reasonable prices, especially compared to the $700+ rates I was getting from other vendors. Planned to spend another $100 to get life size cardboard cut outs of me, my husband, and our cat Ben Kenobi for props.Paid a $100 deposit which he gave back. - Giant Jenga & various games ($40) Bought giant Jenga on Black Friday as a lawn game for some additional entertainment. So, I guess I now have Giant Jenga. Day of Coordinator (4.5%) $1800 My coordinator was Tiffany at Modest Magnolia. She is very experienced with weddings and you could tell from the first conversation with her. Though she was only a DOC, I was in contact with her throughout my entire planning process and she reached out to me in January for my June wedding with a wedding planning worksheet so she can get started on working on my timeline.. Her going rate is $2k, but I was able to negotiate a $200 discount for offering to pay upfront. I'm trying to see if I can transfer my rate to someone who might be looking for a coordinator. Otherwise we'll forfeit the deposit. Flowers &Decor (0.58%) $230 I'm solidly in the camp of "no one cares about decor" so we kept it very minimal. i think the brick walls and greenery of the venue were gorgeous on their own, so we let the place mostly speak for itself and just bought a few things to fill up the tables. Flowers My mom was going to pay for and make all our flowers so luckily we didn't have to deal with a floral deposit! Centerpieces ($0) My cousin got married in Vietnam and she had 12 wood lantern displays with fake flowers and candles in them lining her ceremony aisle. She offered them to me after the wedding and we were going to repurpose into centerpieces. My best friend is getting married in April so she's going to use these instead, so I'm glad they are still getting put to use! Candles, vases, table numbers (~$230) Bought gold vases and mercury votives off my friend for $80, plus a ton more led candles and votives on FB marketplace. Also planned to buy wood block table numbers on Etsy to tie in with the wood centerpieces, so this is budgeted in here too. Hair and Makeup - $1212 - Studio MM&B Includes hair and makeup for bride ($480) and trial ($250). I also paid for my mom's hair and makeup ($190) plus 50% of any services that my bridal party wanted (another $292). Studio MM&B was great, super professional and talented artists, but they definitely have the prices to reflect that. I paid for this deposit maybe 3 weeks before the world blew up, so really regretting this one. It's non-refundable though, so what can you do. Wedding Party Gifts/Attire - $1200 In lieu of presents, we paid for our wedding party's attire. It was definitely more money than if we just bought them small presents, but 3 out of my 5 bridesmaids are in grad school/medical residencies and I knew that the most thoughtful present would be to help with the cost of being in the wedding. My bridesmaids wore midi length sage green dresses from Fame&Partners and City Chic, and their dresses ranged from $100-$139. For groomsmen, we were going to pay for the suit rental (jacket&pant) from Generation Tux at $139 each. Transportation costs - $1592.50 \ - Riz Transportation shuttle service ($580) Price is for 5 hours, inclusive of tax and gratuity. I booked the shuttle to transport the groom's family + wedding party from LA to my parent's house for our tea ceremony (a 20-30 minute drive). We could have let people figure this out themselves, but I wanted to keep the group on time and keep people from needing to rent a car just to get to the tea ceremony.Just emailed him today about our deposit, so still waiting to hear back. - Valet parking ($1012.50) The rate was $135/hr for 25 cars. The vendor requires that you book them for an hour before your event starts up to 30 minutes after the end time (7.5 hours). This was a painful expense, but parking in the Arts District can be hit or miss and I was already throwing my traditional Vietnamese family for a loop with my warehouse wedding. So we paid for parking, which was organized and invoiced by our venue. Luckily this was going to be handled through the venue so we didn't have to put any money down. Tips - $1000 What I had budgeted for tips Additional Spending Not included in Budget - $5760 Basically our attire and wedding rings, which we paid for through our regular paychecks and not the savings account. I didn't really consider these part of the wedding budget because they are going to last us past the wedding day, but wanted to include the breakdown for transparency. - Groom's suit ($500) My husband got a custom 2-piece suit made in Vietnam at a tailor we've used before. He could definitely get a suit in Asia for far less but this shop stocks high quality fabrics and does all of their tailoring in-house so it's still a bargain for the price point. - Wedding Dress ($2500) I bought the A La Robe Juliette in blush at The Dress Theory in Seattle. It's a simple slip dress and it was just a perfect fit for my style. The soft pink color and deep low back felt rebellious and fashion forward, but also it was minimal and comfy AF. I'm currently debating if I want to keep this or just resell it to get some money back from this wedding. I do still love it and it has rewearability potential though, so I'm back and forth. - Wedding Headpiece ($690) I bought a Jennifer Behr headpiece off Poshmark impulsively. This was a ridiculous purchase but I loved it. Hoping to be able to resell or give to a friend to use for any upcoming weddings. - Alterations ($410) This was the estimate for alterations. My dress is currently sitting with them and my first fitting was supposed to be end of April. Unsure now if they'll be open then, but I didn't have to put any money down so this was money not yet spent. - Wedding Rings ($1660) My husband got a 6.5 mm gold comfort fit band for $820. I got two wedding bands off an online retailer,Noemie, for $840 total. My engagement ring was passed down from my MIL and we didn't make any changes to it, so it was $0. Final Thoughts: Overall, we probably stand to forfeit ~$10k in lost deposits, though we *could* have gotten more back from our caterer. I know this is a ton of money (as much as some people's whole weddings) and it was definitely not an easy decision to walk away from. However, the big wedding just no longer felt like something we wanted after going through this tough year (Covid on top of other personal stuff), and I'm big on not letting the "Cost Sunk Fallacy" drive your decisions. By walking away from $10k, we will have saved $30K. It actually worked out well because I'm now at risk for getting furloughed, so the extra savings is an extreme blessing during these shaky times! And a final plug - if anyone is interested in any of these vendors, I may be able to discuss transferring my contract and payments to you. Would love for them to still fill their calendars and get some business!
Hey y’all! Like most other recappers, these were super helpful when planning my wedding and I’d like to pay it forward! This is going to be kind of long because, well, I don’t have any plans for the rest of the weekend…or the year…Feel free to ask me any questions or advice! Engagement length: 14 months Location: Houston, TX General Date: Saturday evening in March Guest Count: 160 invited (50% out of state), 130 RSVP’ed Yes, 120 Attended (no kids except 1 ring bearer) Wedding Party: 8 bridesmaids, 8 groomsmen, 2 ushers, 1 ring bearer Total Budget / Actual Spend: $52k / $53k US AS AN (INTERRACIAL) COUPLE: We both work for the same company and met about 4 years ago in North Dakota. We are an interracial couple (I’m Chinese American, he’s….well, Midwestern) and that came with its own challenges during the wedding planning - we wanted a mostly American wedding but also wanted to include some Chinese cultural touches! My parents are not that traditional, so we didn’t have a tea ceremony, but here are some of the Chinese elements we included:
One of our ceremony readings was from my 90-year-old grandfather, who lives in Nanjing and wasn’t able to attend. He wrote us a letter with marriage advice (he’s still married to my grandma today!) and we translated it into English. One of my ushers is bilingual and he first read it in Chinese, and then in English. Some people told me they cried at the Chinese part and they didn’t even understand it! So sweet and funny.
I changed into a red qipao (traditional Chinese dress) during the cocktail hour. I changed back into my white dress for the reception…but then I couldn’t breathe during dinner (oops) so went right back into the qipao!
We gave away cute little red boxes filled with Ferrero Rochers and Hershey kisses as a wedding favor. The red boxes are laser-cut with the Chinese symbol for luck and a cartoon couple - pretty cute!
------------------------------- BUDGET BREAKDOWN Venue ($8,500) We picked a romantic, Italian-style event venue that’s pretty well-known in Houston. I had wanted to go more towards the rustic/farmhouse type wedding (more DIY opportunities!) but my husband wanted something different from the other weddings he’s been to. This price includes the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception spaces; valet parking; tables, chairs and basic linens; security guard; tax and service fee. Food and Drink ($15,500) Our venue has an in-house chef for appetizers and dinner, so we only had to shop around for desserts.
Cocktail Hour Appetizers ($1,260 / $10 per guest) We had two kinds of passed appetizers during the cocktail hour: bacon wrapped scallops and beef crostini. Both were delicious!
Dinner ($10,300 / $85 per guest + $280 / $35 per vendor) For the soup course, we had a crab and roasted corn chowder - got SO many rave reviews! For the entree, we served ribeye with a side of roasted vegetables and fusilli pasta with pesto. We decided to go with sit-down because it was the same price as buffet style (although they threw in a couple of perks if you chose buffet). Warning if you go with steak: you can’t specify how it gets cooked for every guest! I personally want my steak mooing (which they allowed for bride and groom), but we had to go with medium for the guests to get a balance between the rare-steak eaters and the BRICK eaters.
Desserts ($725) We went with a traditional 3-tier cake (marbled cake with buttercream frosting) for $400, or $4 per slice. This was a steal - we got a discount for going with a preferred vendor at our venue! For the groom’s cake we went with mini pies - apple, strawberry rhubarb, buttercream and key lime. They were a HUGE hit and I loved supporting a small business - a one-woman operation who did a marvelous job with both the pies and the display! She gave us a free tasting of 6 different flavors, too! Each mini pie was $3.
Drinks ($30 per guest) We did an open bar with champagne toast included - I was annoyed at first because so much of my family and friends don’t drink, but I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about running out of alcohol or running up an even higher tab!
Florals and Decor ($3,850) I was not very picky about any part of the florals because I trust the professionals and know nothing about flowers myself. They turned out great - we chose a few images we liked on Pinterest and our florist made it happen!
Bouquets ($185 for bride; $45 per bridesmaid; $8-15 for corsages and boutonnieres) We re-used the bridesmaid bouquets on the cake table and my bouquet at the sweetheart table.
Ceremony florals ($400 for arch)
Reception florals ($55 - $150 per centerpiece) We went with tall centerpieces (that were also used in the ceremony), short centerpieces and floating candle centerpieces to give some variety.
Reception decor (DIY) ($100) We DIY’ed the seating chart (designed on Canva for free and put in one of my mom’s large picture frames) and signs (designed on Canva, printed on cardstock and put in floating frames found at HomeGoods). We also made some signs listing the pie flavors. Finally, we found these awesome light-up marquee letters on Amazon with our initials and put them on the sweetheart table!
Cocktail hour decor (DIY) ($250) We bought 36 floating candles from Yummi Candles online. Highly recommend - they came in a safely packed box and are already sorted to 3 different heights! I then got some faux lamb’s ear wreaths on sale from Hobby Lobby to surround the candles. We used the remaining candles in the reception. Best of all, we also used them as centerpieces for the rehearsal dinner the night before.
Music ($3,500 including $400 stage rental) We are big live music fans, so having a live band was important to us. However, I will say if you’re on a budget, this is one thing you really don’t need. Most of the weddings I’ve been to have had DJs and they were still a blast. But….THE BAND WAS AMAZING. They also did a jazz trio for the cocktail hour and set up the sound system/microphones for our ceremony at an additional cost. Photo/Video ($4,350 total / $2,000 photo / $2,000 video / $350 photo booth) LOVED our photographer. We had used a friend for engagement photos, so they let me replace that part of the package with bridal portraits instead! Highly recommend doing portraits ahead of time if you’re on a tight schedule the day of the wedding; got a lot more pictures of my dress and the venue beforehand so I was less stressed the day of. I also timed my hair and makeup trial for the same day as the portraits. Gifts ($2,000)
Bridesmaid proposals ($100) I did little boxes with a personalized puzzle, chocolates and a card. In retrospect, it was cute and appreciated but THIS WAS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. Pinterest strikes again…
Bridesmaid gifts ($35 each) I bought earrings from Olive + Piper for all my bridesmaids (optional to wear for the wedding). I kept the gifts small because I paid for their dresses, hair and makeup.
Groomsmen/usher gifts ($100 each) All the groomsmen and ushers received a pair of black Jordans to wear for the wedding and keep. At first I was aghast at the groomsmen wearing sneakers, but…they actually looked pretty awesome - and they look like formal black shoes from far away!
Officiant/Ring Bearer gifts ($150 total)
Stationery ($1,250)
Save-the-Dates (Minted / $250 inc. stamps)
Invitations (Minted / $450 inc. stamps)
Thank You notes (Amazon / $50 inc. stamps)
Programs (Canva + Vistaprint / $150)
Menus (Canva + Vistaprint / $150)
Guestbook (Etsy / $150) I got a wooden alternative guestbook to hang on our wall. It’s a map of the US and highlights the two states we came from, with a dotted line that connects them. We didn’t intend it, but most people signed near wherever they’re from on the map (which made for some awkward clumps, but we liked it!)
Vow books (Etsy / $50) I splurged and got personalized fabric vow books from Etsy. There are enough pages that we’ll be writing a new page for every anniversary :)
Attire ($6,000)
Wedding dress ($2,000 dress / $400 alterations) My dress was from Essence of Australia. I had bought it thinking I could make it strapless, but the whole open-back-means-no-strapless concept went right over my head. My seamstress was amazing and able to thin the straps out to look more delicate, but in the end I wish I had bought a dress that I would’ve loved without any significant adjustments!
Groom’s tux ($250) Groom and groomsmen all rented from The Black Tux, which was perfect since they’re all over the country. They had them shipped to our apartment and we handed everything out during the rehearsal. Husband loved his so much that when they offered a discount to just purchase the thing instead of returning it, he took it!
Bridesmaid dresses ($60 per dress) Maid of honor got her dress from BHLDN. We got super lucky and bought the floor sample because it was the only one left - ended up being $70 instead of $200 and looked good as new after dry-cleaning. I got everyone else’s dresses from Lulu’s with a 20% discount. TIP: If you buy from Lulu’s and want them all the same color, make sure you email customer service and buy the dresses all at once. Their dyes can change slightly between batches. I got lucky, but be careful!
Hair and makeup ($300 bride / $150 bridesmaids) It was so fun to get dolled up together on the day of! I got Chick Fil A catering for us and brought some champagne.
Shoes ($50) I’m the same height as my husband, so got the sparkly Kate Spade Keds. THEY RUN LARGE and I have skinny feet so I had to buy thick socks to make them fit.
Wedding bands ($1,500 total) I went with local jeweler and husband went with Costco.
Other jewelry ($30) I bought earrings on sale from Macy’s for $13 and hair pins from Amazon for $15. Did not think these were things worth splurging on!
Day-of Coordinator ($1,000) Rehearsal Dinner ($5,000) We had about 60 people attend because we invited the wedding party and their dates, plus a lot of out-of-town guests. We held it at a brewery, so we served BBQ for dinner and opened up the event to all other guests after dinner to enjoy beers outside! After-party ($1,000) Because our venue had such restrictive timing, we decided to move the party to a casual bar down the street. We covered the tab here as well. Tips ($600 total) This doesn't include the required gratuity for both the wedding and rehearsal dinner venues. I gave my MOH's boyfriend a bunch of envelopes with each vendor's name so he could hand them out during the wedding. Delegate! ------------------------- WHAT WENT WELL
The event was very well-coordinated and nothing really went wrong during. The staff were all amazing and made everything flow seamlessly! For those of your struggling with deciding on a Day-Of Coordinator, DO IT. I didn't have to do a thing but enjoy the wedding. So worth it.
Also...we came really close to budget and I'm proud of sticking to it. We had to sacrifice a few things along the way because some costs came up that we hadn't anticipated. But overall, it added up as expected!
WHAT DIDN’T GO WELL / SHOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY
I was stressed throughout the planning process because my venue was so restrictive on time. They only gave us 2 hours before the ceremony in the dressing room, and then 4.5 hours for the ceremony, cocktail hour and reception combined. Every additional hour for the wedding would have been $2,500. I would have preferred a venue that gives you all day to set up, relax, get ready, etc. instead.
It also rained during the last 10 minutes of the cocktail hour, so everyone went to the reception early. That was minor but still a bummer, since that area was my favorite part of the venue!
Finally, looking through photos there were a lot of shots that I forgot to include on my shot list. We didn't get pictures of the invitations, vow books, etc. I was probably too "chill" and just let the photographers do their thing.
Make sure you talk to your venue about leftovers. We had a lot of mini pies leftover and they somehow didn't make it into our packed car at the end of the night...so sad!
WHAT I DIDN’T NEED, IN HINDSIGHT
Hotel blocks....I was extra and reserved FOUR hotel blocks. About 5 rooms total were booked between the 4. Yep, everyone went with Airbnb or staying with friends. I used Kleinfeld hotel blocks (they were helpful but my friend said their hotel rates aren't as good as direct communication with the hotel) and made sure to do courtesy blocks, so there wasn't much impact anyway.
Menus and programs - everyone says this and it's true. But it was pretty cheap since I designed my own!
Favors. Only did these because my mom insisted. SO many people didn't take them! I ate chocolate for weeks though...that was a plus :)
Bridesmaid proposals - cute but don't stress about it! My bridesmaids would have been happy with a phone call or brunch, I think!
Ceremony arch...it was a nice touch but nobody would've cared if it wasn't there.
We didn't have a formal sendoff in order to save time, and we had an afterparty planned anyway. I didn't miss it at all!
Budget/Breakdown: $23k Phoenix AZ wedding, February 15 2020, 135 guests, LGBT
We were engaged March 2019, so we had an 11 month engagement. Our wedding was on our 4 year anniversary! Budget I set a budget of $20k, but my fiancee wife upped the budget to $25k, to my surprise, given I was the one more excited about wedding planning! We paid for 95% of the wedding ourselves. My wife’s parents paid for the DJ, and my mom paid for my dress alterations. Guest List Invited: 210 RSVP’d yes: 135 No shows/last minute cancellations: 10 We had a lot of out of state family that we invited but knew would likely not be able to make it. We also had a lot of people not come because they didn’t want to come to a gay wedding, which is surprising given that we only invited those we considered friends and family. I'm glad we had the time to celebrate with those who made it, especially our out of towners, as it was really special seeing them. The guest list was super stressful; my wife had 40 family members she didn’t even recognize on the list after her parents gave her their names. I didn’t realize this was the case until after the invites went out, I just figured it was all extended family I didn’t know (but she did!) We also had 2 of my family members decide they wanted to come the week of the wedding, and my brother let me know he’d be bringing a +1 two days before the wedding. I regret doing my seating chart so far in advance! The 10 cancellations/no shows was a huge bummer (that’s like $500 down the drain). 2 was from my aunt, who was at my bachelorette the week before, and we’re still not sure why she didn’t come. 2 were from one of my good friends from high school, who told me the week of that he was in a play that day a few days before the wedding. 3 were because of a family friend with the flu, and 2 were because they got snowed in. Theme We had the ceremony in the orchards, and the reception in the barn. I went for a more natural, boho vintage theme, and didn’t do a lot of decorating to let the business of the venue not clash. Final costs Venue- $5,822 Schnepf Farms, Big Red Barn This included all tables, chairs, linens, etc. It also included a hayride during cocktail hour, bonfire in the evening, and lawn games. We had the venue from 4pm-11pm, and got there to decorate around 10am. Venue Flowers- $135 This is probably the wedding cost I’m most proud of. Our wedding was the day after Valentine’s day, so florist quotes were especially insane. Instead, I made my own bouquets with flowers from Trader Joes. I went on Valentines and picked out my florals. You can order ahead, but they can’t guarantee color, which was most important to me. I made my bouquet, 4 bridesmaids bouquets (1 slightly bigger, MOH), 8 boutonniere, and had cake and hair flowers with enough left over for a couple more bouquets. I used mostly spray roses, greenery, and little “wildflower”-esque items. I love how they photographed! Flowers S’mores Supplies- $95 This includes enough chocolate and graham crackers for 150 smores, plus extra marshmallows for roasting. I got 3ft long skewers on Amazon, which ended up working out perfectly for safety (kids, drunks) and convenience. Pro tip: if you’re doing a smores bar, get reeces thins; I hate reeces/peanut butter, but everyone remarked about how perfect they were for the smores! Smores Decor- $467 I did faux flowers for my centerpieces because I wanted to be able to do them ahead of time. I started shopping in October at Michael’s, and after about a week, things started getting really hard to find--they were already switching out to winter florals! In a panic, I went to over 10 Michael’s locations. However, I ended up with extra centerpieces. I got my vases from Goodwill over a few months. I wanted a mismatched, vintage look, so I got different crystal and green tinted vases and love how it turned out. I also bought a few sheets of lace to drape over tables, and acrylic stands for the table numbers I made. The table numbers turned out surprisingly good considering my terrible handwriting! Centerpieces Signs- $80 I was planning on DIY-ing my signs, and my FIL got us sheets of acrylic to do so. At the last minute, I chickened out and had someone I found on a local Facebook page do them. She did our seating chart, welcome sign, s’mores sign, and guest book. I probably should have done these myself, as I was not very happy with the end result. They were very smudgey, uneven, and not how I wanted. She re-did them once, but I kept them the way they were after. I didn’t really notice during the wedding, though, and they photographed well--it turned out to be one of the least important things that Pinterest convinced me I need! Signs Harp- $750 Our harpist was amazing! We won a free cocktail hour package at a bridal expo, so we just had to pay for the ceremony. We also paid to do custom songs (First Day of my Life-Bright Eyes and Dear Theodosia-Hamilton). It turns out she’s our neighbor, and we actually hang out now! Everyone thought we were the bougiest for having a harp, and she sounded amazing. Harp DJ- $1000 So the best vendor of the night award definitely goes to our DJ. He was absolutely amazing. Not only did he nail the music, but he was so on top of everything else throughout the night and is the reason I didn’t lose my mind. He revised my timeline so that everything made the most sense, handled things with our day of coordinator (she worked for the venue and I was on the verge of tears talking to her half the day), and I even saw him helping my grandpa to his seat at one point in the night (my grandpa was being a huge jerk to everyone, but apparently him and my DJ are now besties). Our photographer wouldn’t let people record things for some reason (??? she wasn’t doing video! They were trying to record things like the shoe game and she told them to put their phones away) so we were heartbroken that we didn’t have any of the day on video, but he sent us an audio clip of the whole ceremony. Cannot say enough good things about him! DJ Jumpsuit- $300 My wife wore a black jumpsuit from Sezane. It fit perfectly and was super cute. There's a little cutout in the back, but you can't really see it in any of the photos. Jumpsuit Dress- $980 My dress was from Anomalie, and I got it during a 4th of July promo they were having (15% off). It was actually my third dress--I got hit hard with dress regret. I wanted sleeves and an open back, so I went with Anomalie to make sure I got this. The process was super smooth until I actually got my dress, and it didn’t fit at all. The sleeves were too short and I couldn’t lift my arms! I emailed Anomalie and they agreed to remake me a new bodice, and then pay for a local tailor to sew it on. They sent it, and this one fit even worse! With limited time, they said that they’d pay for whatever alterations were needed to make it fit. In the end, I felt the fit was a bit awkward, but everyone complimented my dress all night. Anomalie paid my alterations the day I sent the invoice, so I can’t fault their customer service at all. Dress Alterations- $350 (plus $480) The Anomalie alterations were $480, and I think that was underpriced for the amount of work and reconstruction she had to do to the dress. However, those were paid for by Anomalie. The hem, bustle, and steaming were $350. My tailor was absolutely amazing. She was calm and confident throughout the whole process, and worked a miracle on what seemed like a hopeless dress. Because of her, I was able to lift my arms!! I would recommend her 1000x over. Photography- $1520 Our photographer. I’m really disappointed by the way she treated us during the wedding (and even leading up to it). She was impossible to get ahold of via email. She made it seem like we were bothering her any time we wanted a picture of something. She rushed us through our couples portraits, and wouldn’t let me do pictures in a gorgeous spot I really wanted to do because we “didn’t have time before the grand entrance.” Then, we got back to the reception area and had to wait 15 minutes for everyone to be ready for our entrance. We added an extra hour to our package for $250 that we didn’t end up using, but I never asked her for it back because I feel so uncomfortable talking to her. However, I'm so happy with our photos! I've been stressing since the wedding about whether or not I would like them, but they really are great. A few favorites Dinner and Bar- $9517 (Bar $4211, Dinner $4756, Apps $550) We did a taco bar for our dinner, and it was a huge hit. Everyone loved it, and they had enough for plenty of people to get seconds. The only disappointing thing is that they changed their potato tacos from the time of the tasting--I’m a vegetarian, so this was really important to me. At the tasting, they had crispy, fried potatoes that were the best tacos I’ve ever had. I’ve been dreaming of them since. At the wedding, they had soggy, sauteed potato tacos. For the bar, we did just beer and wine, as the venue isn’t licensed for hard liquor. However, this ended up being a good thing, since the venue was about an hour from everyone coming out, and we didn’t want people drinking and driving. They also had white claw!, hard lemonade, and fizzy sangria, so there were some fun drinks mixed in. Food & Drink Cake- $180 We had a 4 tier naked vanilla cake with honey buttercream and fresh berry filling. We were way under charged for the cake--it was a family friend who is a baker, and she killed it. We tipped her generously. Cake HaiMakeup/Nails- $660 MAN is a two bride wedding expensive for the beauty stuff! Our hair and makeup was $280 each, plus $100 total on nails. My wife loved her hair and makeup from day one. I like my hair, though would have liked a looser curl, and the stylist put the flowers in such a cute way. My makeup just didn’t do it for me. I told her I wanted a natural look from day 1, and after 2 trials, she just didn’t nail it. I probably wouldn’t do airbrush if I were to do it again, even though she insisted it doesn’t affect the coverage, and would probably look for someone else for makeup, though they were from the same company so I’m not sure if that would have been a possibility. Hair make up Photobus- $900 A photobus was at the top of my list for wedding necessities from day one. We booked one right away, but then 2 months before the wedding they cancelled on us. I thought it was hopeless that we’d find another on such short notice, but then a new photo bus company started up that same week. We were their first wedding, and it showed. The pictures printed out with blue or pink stripes and were cut off funny. There was a terrible delay that made most of the pictures blurry. Printing took forever, and they didn’t print extra copies/instruct people to tape copies in the guest book like we’d asked (before the wedding and twice during). Overall, I was super disappointed with our photo bus experience. Photobus Guest book- $80 (Etsy) Wedding bands- $1000 Accessories (shoes, jewelry, hair piece, custom jacket)- $141 Stationary- $83 Bridesmaid’s dresses- $430 (Azazie, Cyber Monday), Sparklers $150 Misc What went well: I was so happy to get our families together! My dad is 1 of 7 kids, and this was the first time he’d seen all of his siblings in over 10 years. The last time they were all together was for my grandfather’s funeral, and a year before for my grandmother’s, so it was a much better gathering this time around. I already mentioned what an amazing DJ we had, but the music was so fun! I’m not a dancer, but I was out on the dance floor as much as I could be without overheating in my giant dress. I didn’t want to do personal vows. At all. However, a week before the wedding, my wife had a bit of a freak out moment about how important it was to her that we did them. Given that I’d made most of the wedding decisions, I conceded, and we did vows. Even though I was super nervous, everyone mentioned all night how amazing our vows were. Our DJ said they were the best vows he’s ever heard, and that he cried twice. I’m glad I did them, even if I couldn’t concentrate on the first half of the ceremony because my heart was pounding so hard. I’m so glad we did the smores bar, it was such a hit! I love roasting marshmallows, and everyone seemed to have a great time with it. I have no regrets here, even if my dress briefly caught fire. The sparkler send off was a lot of fun! I’m glad we did it, as I was hesitant to spend the money. It was super cute and a great photo op. What went wrong: I felt so dizzy/hot from the time that dinner was served to the rest of the night. I already have a heart condition, so I’m sure the excitement/heat/dress didn’t help. Right before our first dance was called, I told my wife I needed to sit down or I was worried I’d pass out--seconds later, we got called to the dance floor, lol. Later in the night, I had to lay down in the bridal suite for about 10 minutes and saw that my heart rate was over 140 after laying there! The photo bus. I already spilled the tea above, I’m just still really upset about this! My grandpa, who was supposed to walk me down the aisle, was having a really hard time walking that day and was in a vile mood. He was snapping at everyone and drinking a bit too much. I told the photographer it was unlikely he’d come out for portraits, but it was important to me that I got a few photos with him later in the night. She remarked “well, he doesn’t like me very much.” I explained that it wasn’t her, but I didn’t get my photos with him. My dad gave an unexpected, impromptu, drunk speech. It was fine, but definitely awkward. The DJ cut the mic as he approached our table, so he just kinda projected his voice. Edit: You don't have to ask me twice! Photo Dump
Wedding Recap: 18k Afternoon Wedding in Albuquerque for 65 guests
First, Pictures! This is a wedding I planned for my wife. She was the stereotypical bride that always dreamed of a big fancy wedding, but she had no interest in planning it. I was the stereotypical bride that did 99% of the planning, because I had no interest in a wedding for myself but I loved researching and planning and I wanted my wife to be happy. I know a lot of hetero couples have issues with this labor imbalance, but for us it worked perfectly.
Summary
Date & Location: 2/8/20 in Albuquerque, NM
Length of relationship/engagement: Engaged for 6 months, together for…8 years? Depends how you count.
Estimated budget: 20k
Final cost: 22k including the welcome evening and rehearsal lunch. Paid mostly by my father, although we could have swung it ourselves.
invited: 120 ish
RSVP yes: 65, 63 attended. About 98% of the people we invited were from out of town and couldn’t make it. Her family also has some born-again Christians who refused to attend.
Costs
Venue: $500
Our venue was a historic hotel downtown. We had the welcome evening, the ceremony and the reception here. A lot of our guests stayed at the hotel and commented on how convenient it was for them. Ceremony Fee: $500 for the ceremony space. We picked the venue specifically for this ceremony space which isn’t available in the evenings, which forced us to have an afternoon ceremony. Worth it. Reception Venue: fee was waived because we met the minimum spend!
Food & Drinks: $10.5k
$70 per adult, which included a buffet, beewine/soft drinks, and passed appetizers for 1 hour (this price doesn’t include taxes etc). The total for the food including taxes was $6,288. We hosted a full bar for the whole night in addition to this package, which came out to $3,468. Dessert: We brought in gelato from Frost for $810. Their standard package feeds 200 people, so at the end of the night there was a TON of leftovers. They packed it up into pint containers for us and held it at their local store for us to pick up the next day. We hosted a lovely post-wedding ice cream social and gave it all away to local friends.
Attire: $1.5k
My attire: $77 I wasn’t too particular about my dress, so I just kind of bought the first dress that I liked (Lulus Awaken My Love in Grey). After I bought it I got a little obsessed and made this pinterest board featuring this dress as a wedding dress. My alterations: $80 I got it taken in to tea length and fixed the sleeves to fit better. My accessories: $180 This includes a veil, barefoot sandals, hair vine, and gaffers tape I used as a bra. I also wore a gold locket that my mother gave me when I was a teenager. Wife’s attire: $259 She ordered a dress from RenzRags which was kind of a hot mess. The bodice was too small and the skirt looked cheap so she ordered a tulle skirt to go over it and a shaper to squeeze her torso. It was a little stressful, but in the end it all worked out. Wife’s alterations: $60 To alter the dress mentioned above. Wife’s accessories: $180 She bought nice jewelry for all her body piercings and a crystal flower crown. Rings: $612 Her ring is a dainty 14k white gold ring with a pink moissanite which I bought on etsy. My ring is a plain 14k gold band that I found while digging in the garden a few years back. They match our personalities pretty well.
Decor: $1.6k
Florals: $877 We went full DIY on the florals. This is a combination of plastic flowers from Michaels, foam roses from Amazon, Sola wood flowers, artificial boutonnieres and flower crowns from Etsy, and 200 feet of real green garlands from Sam’s Club. The garlands were $400 and well worth it; there was enough for all the tables in the reception and to decorate the chairs for the ceremony. Non-florals at ceremony: $417 Most of this is from the $278 wagon we bought for our young son to ride down the aisle. We also bought bubbles and a round arch. Non-florals at cocktail hour: $54 The hotel was pretty enough, we just put up a schedule sign so people would know what’s going on. We labeled it “The Gay Agenda” and everyone loved it. Non-florals at reception: $279 We went with long farmhouse tables so the centerpieces had to be simple. I found some cheap geometric candle holders on amazon, put some flickering LED candles in them, and arranged them around the garlands on the table. There were also a lot of leftover sola wood flowers so we arranged them in the garlands too.
Stationery: $400
Save-the-dates/Programs./Menus: $0 we skipped all of these: save-the-dates because of our short engagement (we just sent out our invitations reallllly early), programs because we had a super short ceremony, and menus because we had a buffet. I don’t think anyone missed them. Invitations + postage: $245 We just bought something off of Minted. We ended up with like 50 extra invitations somehow, so we probably could have spent a lot less here. Thank you cards + postage: $100 Again, just something cute from Minted. Escort cards: $82 Another DIY. We went with named tables, so I bought some nice tree illustrations from Etsy for table cards, made a seating chart spreadsheet that generated the escort cards for me, and printed out the escort cards on some nice cardstock. This seemed like a good idea until I was cutting out the escort cards at 1 AM two days before the wedding. I don’t recommend this unless you have a way to cut paper in bulk.
Other Vendors: 3.8k
Coordinator: $0 The venue includes a venue coordinator and I think that was all we needed. I wasn’t super stoked about the whole wedding thing, but I love planning things. I think if we had an event coordinator I would’ve enjoyed the day less. Music: $1371 We hired a string duo for the ceremony and a DJ for the reception. I’m really glad we got the string musicians. Photographer: $1882 This includes 7 hours of shooting, with a second shooter for about 5 of those hours. Hair Stylist: $8 We didn’t want anything super fancy, so my sister-in-law did both of our hair. The only thing I had to buy was some hair wax (which I will probably never use again). She did a great job! Make-up Artist (+ trial): 250 This includes two trials and one day-of face. My wife found a local mua who came out and did a trial for us both. I ended up hating it even though she did a great job, so I did my own makeup day-of along with our brides’ maids. Officiant: $0 Our lovely friend of 10+ years did the ceremony for us as a wedding gift. Tips: $300 I took out this much for tips and I’m sure it all went to that, but I couldn’t tell you who got what.
Gifts: $150
Wedding party gifts: $150 for bridesmaids boxes. Everyone also got sweet thank-you cards.
Additional Events: 3.7k
Rehearsal Lunch: $1000? I got a reservation at a cafe down the street from the venue and we just all walked over after the rehearsal. I wanted to pay for this, but my dad got to the check before me so I have no idea how much we spent. Welcome Party: 2.7k Since everyone was coming from out of town, we had a little cocktail party at the venue the night before.
Additional Info
Timeline
We fell in love with this ceremony space but it was only available before 2 PM, and my wife really wanted to have the standard dinner & dancing reception, so our timeline was a little non-traditional: 1:30 Ceremony (we put 1 on the invitations and one of her cousins still missed it, lol) 1:45 Receiving line into cocktail hour+ 2-ish to 3:30 Cocktail Hour+ 3:45 First dance and parent dances 4:00 Prayer and dinner (we had a buffet) 4:45 Speeches/Toasts, dance floor open 6:00 Dessert, more dancing 10:00 Late night Loteria to finish the night
What Went Well
Pretty much everything. I originally didn’t want a wedding, but in the end I’m glad my wife convinced me into it. I was worried about so much stuff not working out (like our last-minute welcome evening, wonky timeline, super-short ceremony, non-traditional dresses, the seating chart, the dance floor) but all of it turned out perfectly fine. I’m also really glad we played Loteria (mexican bingo) at the end of the night once the crowd had thinned out and everyone was very drunk. Her family plays it a lot at family gatherings so it was a nice way to bring the two sides of our family together!
Things I Would Have Changed
I definitely wouldn’t have DIY’ed the escort cards, it was so much work at the very last minute. We did have some trouble getting people to RSVP, but I think this was mainly cultural, so probably unavoidable (her family’s weddings are usually much more casual and folks just kind of show up).
Budget/Breakdown: $30k MN July wedding, 100 guests, Long engagement
First of all,PHOTOS! Background info We live in Minnesota, were high school sweethearts, and are in our mid-20s. Of the 10 years we’ve dated, we’ve lived together for 5 years and were engaged for 2.5 years. I planned everything myself, and we paid for the wedding ourselves. Pros of a long (2+ years) engagement:
It felt right for us and allowed us to leisurely enjoy being engaged
Plenty of time for research and venue visits
Most vendors were available on our date
Costs were spread out and thus easier to afford
Months at a time with nothing wedding-related to do (helped mitigate burn out)
No cold feet. We both felt VERY ready to be married when the day finally came
Cons of a long engagement:
DH’s grandpa died two months before the wedding. If we had a shorter engagement, he would have been able to attend.
With nothing else to do for months, I overthought and doubted decisions
I got bored and created things for myself to do (which resulted in blowing the budget)
The month leading up to the wedding was still stressful and crazy, despite how much I planned ahead
Budget and Gifts Initial budget: $20k Final cost: $29k Our parents/grandparents gave us $17k in total, and gifts from guests totaled $3k. Guest List If I had to plan a wedding again, I might elope, only to avoid the guest-list drama. My guest list: 80 Parents’ guest list: 200+ Guests invited: 125 Guests RSVP’d yes: 101 Guests invited late due to parents begging: 7 Guests who actually attended: 98 (2 of whom RSVD’d no) Theme My vague theme was "royal wedding in the park." My inspiration words were, "Colorful, elegant, simple, and classic." Final Costs Day-of Coordinator: $1175 If I could only give one piece of advice, it would be to hire a coordinator. Nothing major went wrong, thanks to our coordinator. Neither me nor my family had to lift a finger to set up or tear down. It was an entirely relaxing, wonderful day. Attire: $4430 In my experience, buying my dress two years before the wedding was great. I recommend waiting to buy your accessories, though. I thought I needed this $500 belt, but by the wedding day, I liked my dress better without it. I only wore it for the reception. 3 bridesmaids skirts (DIY): $230 My dress: $1200 Accessories: $700 Alterations (hem, take in the bust, bustle, add straps): $550 Groom tux and attire (rented from The Black Tux): $200 My ring (excluding engagement ring): $900 His ring: $650 Hair and Makeup: $1200 I let everyone choose whether they got hair and makeup done and how they wanted to look. Everyone but my mom opted in. I disliked the hair stylist I was assigned. Even after after a second trial, my updo was frizzy, sloppy, and coming out before the ceremony. Bridesmaids hair also came out before the ceremony. My hair and makeup (including a trial): $400 2nd hair trial: $65 3 Bridesmaids and MOG haimake up: $600 Tip: $150 Stationary: $328 I designed and printed our invitation suites myself, which was stupid. The paper I bought wasn’t made for printer ink, so although they looked beautiful at first, most of the ink rubbed off in the mail. In hindsight, I should have had them professionally printed on good paper. I spent hours on those invites--even doing calligraphy for every name and address--just to have them smudge. STDs from Minted: $118 Invites (DIY): $100 Thank You Cards: $25 Postage: $85 Venue: $3480 Both the ceremony and reception were at a local park with a lovely indoor space. Counseling: $160 In hindsight, we should have skipped pre-marital counseling. We have a fantastic relationship, but I thought we should try it. We did Prepare-Enrich, which reported we had no weaknesses, and had an hour of therapy. Afterward, the therapist said we could continue but didn’t think we needed to. Dance Lessons: $80 This covered four dance classes. It was a group class designed for engaged couples practicing for their first dance. We had so much fun! The weekly lessons were like date nights. We had no prior dance experience and learned a ton. Officiant and License: $515 Food for the drama llamas: Shortly after we got engaged, I asked my distant cousin (a pastor) to marry us and he agreed. Two years went by. I struggled to get him on the phone or talk about logistics. When we did finally talk, he wouldn’t let us get a word in and talked for two hours about how we needed more pre-marital counseling. Two months before the wedding, he said he didn’t feel comfortable marrying us because we live together and aren’t religious. I was annoyed but relieved, and we hired an officiant. Officiant: $400 Marriage license: $115 Photo and Video: $4575 For videography, I wanted raw footage because I dislike modern wedding videos. Before hiring him, I told our videographer I didn’t want to see things the photographer was already capturing. I wanted him to film stuff I would miss. Candid moments. Family arriving, groomsmen goofing off, my sister carrying my train, my little cousins playing. But instead, he stuck to the traditonal script and filmed bridal party posing for pictures, the ceremony, speeches, and the dance floor. In hindsight, I should have just “hired” a friend to be the videographer. On the other end of the spectrum, our photographer was incredible! Photography: $3800 Videography: $775 Food and drink: $5815 Many people doubted my decision to have tacos for dinner and donuts for dessert (no cake). (At least DH was super excited about the food I picked!) I defended my decisions, and it turned out great. Appetizers and buffet dinner: $4155 Donuts: $220 Open bar (beer and wine only): $1440 DJ/entertainment: $1125 In addition to a DJ, we had ping pong and a retro arcade cabinet (both borrowed from DH’s uncle), which people enjoyed. I’m sad DH and I never got a chance to play. Decor: $1370 I won’t go into the saga that was finding cylinder vases and pillar candles for a reasonable price. The lesson is to do all DIY as early as possible. Just do it now because it will not go as planned and you’ll have to resort to plan B (or C or D.) Chair rental cost surprised me. We needed 100 basic chairs for 20 minutes, and most vendors quoted me $1k. My friend’s dad rents chairs for graduation parties but was willing to do weddings too, so I got a deal. If you’re looking for basic chairs, try searching for grad party rentals instead of wedding rentals. Vases and candles: $50 and my sanity Blue goblets from eBay: $540 Ring box: $40 Ceremony arch (DIY): $45 Place cards (DIY): $20 Paper cranes (DIY): $5 Fake greenery for headtable: $100 Chair rental for ceremony: $570 Floral: $2440 Flowers on ceremony arch: $400 Floral centerpieces: $100 each Greenery centerpieces: $50 each My bouquet: $300 Bridesmaids bouquets: $150 each Boutonnieres: $15 each Corsages for moms: $30 each We had some random buds scattered on other tables too, which were $50 per table. The rest is taxes and delivery fee. Gifts: $75 I gave my bridesmaids silk butterfly clips from Etsy to wear in their hair. DH gave his dad and groomsmen custom flasks. To each of the parents, I wrote heartfelt notes. Bridesmaids gifts: $25 Groomsmen gifts: $50 Parent gifts: $0 Honeymoon: $2300 Four days in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. We’ve been there several times before, which meant we didn’t have to plan or research anything. DH grandparents offered the use of their timeshare, so hotel was free. We waited too long to book flights, so they got expensive. Hotel: $0 Flights: $1800 Food/activities: ~$500 What Went Well When we started planning, DH and I had a conversation about expectations. I asked, “What makes it a wedding to you?” His answer surprised me, and it helped me prioritize things while planning. Hiring a day-of coordinator was the best money spent. I was worried about being sick with anxiety all day. My mom told me if I expected myself to be anxious, I would be. I took her advice and actively corrected my thinking. I pictured myself calm and happy as often as possible. In moments of stress, I focused on things I was excited about. In the weeks leading up, I told myself over and over I would be at ease and carefree. And it was so! I couldn’t believe it! If it’s going to be hot and you’re doing photos outside, bring cooling towels. Our bridal party loved them in between pictures. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t. No one will miss it. We skipped a lot of “traditions” and no one noticed. We had no guestbook, cake cutting, father-daughter dance, bouquet toss, garter toss, grand entrance, or grand exit. We did a receiving line, and it was the best. It got the hugs and congrats done right away and ensured we greeted every guest. It only took about twenty minutes. Then, at the reception, we were free to mingle with whomever we wanted to talk to more. No one pulled us aside or interrupted us during the reception. Instead of a father-daughter dance, my dad played accordion and guests participated in a group folk dance. It meant a lot of my dad. It was also a sneaky way to get a lot of people on the dance floor for when the DJ started. I was surprised by how much power the bride has. I realized this when people on the dance floor mimicked my moves and responded to everything I did. If I clapped my hands to the beat, so did they. If I left the floor, they stopped dancing. If I pointed at someone across the floor, they pointed back and we sang lyrics together. As a shy person, I’ve never experienced anything like this. Once I realized my power, I used it for good. I made a point to dance with people who had no date or knew no one. I thanked and complimented people profusely. I visited more tables than I normally would have. What Went Wrong The list below is nitpicking for the sake of this post. I mean it when I say the day was absolutely perfect and nothing on the list below affected our happiness.
My dress was too long, which made it almost impossible to walk without holding up my skirt. The only time this really mattered was walking down the aisle. Every time I tried to look up at my DH and enjoy the moment, I would trip on my skirt. It kind of spoiled the moment.
We only registered for gifts at the insistence of our moms. It wasn’t worth the effort because most people gave us cash anyway. I wish we hadn’t bothered.
The DIY invitations smudged in the mail (see above)
I forgot to give my beautiful, sparkly belt to the photographer to include in the details shots. Oops!
In the morning, while steaming my dress, my brand new steamer malfunctioned. My mom had to run out for a new one with only 30 minutes to spare.
During the ceremony, holding back tears made my nose run. The officiant handed me a tissue, but I wasn’t going to blow my nose during our beautiful ceremony! I couldn’t even give it a good wipe because that would look gross and smear my makeup. I dabbed a few times, but the snot just kept coming! These are the thoughts that occupied my mind throughout our ceremony. By the time of our first kiss, the snot had trickled onto my upper lip, and I felt sorry for DH having to kiss me. I brought it up later and we both laughed. Now it makes for a hilarious memory!
The expensive floral centerpieces, which I had carefully planned to be on VIP tables, ended up on the wrong tables.
The videographer didn’t film the “behind-the-scenes” moments like I wanted (see above)
My grandma, who is in early stages of dementia, got lost and didn’t arrive early for family pictures. She arrived just in time for the ceremony, luckily. We took pictures with her during happy hour instead.
I had my period on the wedding day. I think I earned some kind of female achievement award for changing tampons in a white ballgown! My sisteMOH was a rock star.
I couldn’t eat more than two bites of dinner. This was a combination of being too hot, the very tight bodice of my dress, and adrenaline. I felt like Scarlet O’Hara at a BBQ.
My poor bouquet was neglected at the end of the night. I put it in a vase during the reception and forgot about it. The next day, I found it stuffed in a box (with no vase or water) where it had sat all night. It was heartbreaking to see it so wilted. I put it in water, which perked it up, but it could have lasted so much longer. I should have designated someone to take care of my bouquet.
The beautiful silk blue ribbon wrapped around my bouquet was lost (likely thrown away during clean up.) Even now, seven months later, I still think about my lost ribbon sometimes and feel sad.
Finally, I just want to say thank you to this wonderful community. I got a lot of ideas and support from this fantastic group. This place is unique among subreddits and online communities. Please never change, Weddit!
21 Ideas for Diy Centerpieces for Wedding Reception. Get motivated with DIY wedding event tasks for flowers in enjoyable containers such as pitchers, vintage bottles as well as buckets; floral headbands; flower floor tile table runners; as well as conventional or hoop wedding event arrangements. If you’re looking for DIY wedding centerpieces on a budget, you’ll be happy to know, there are a lot of options! Learn how to create a whimsical wedding centerpiece with this simply how-to video from Afloral. They look perfect for a summer wedding! If you want to have creative DIY wedding flowers, here’s the perfect idea for you. 3. DIY Network offers unique ideas for creating floral and non-floral centerpieces for a wedding reception. Aug 14, 2018 - Create the wedding of your dreams with these DIY centerpieces for reception tables. Pretty simple to create, and able to add your own touch!. See more ideas about wedding centerpieces, centerpieces, wedding. Add a homemade and personal touch to your wedding with these DIY wedding centerpieces. There's a style of DIY wedding centerpiece for every wedding theme! Close. Follow Us. Close. Enter your search here ... This is an adorable and easy way to build an awesome wedding table with a sense of a humor. Fill a bowl with legos and stick in a sweet ... DIY centerpieces can help you save up for other aspects of your wedding, as well as let you take the reins to make something all your own. Ahead, ideas for adding personality and a homemade touch ... These are super wedding table centerpieces for summer weddings! We trust that this collection of 40 DIY wedding centerpiece ideas has inspired you to find your perfect table centerpiece. Make sure your wedding centerpieces complement the rest of your wedding decor, so they won’t look out of place. The perfect DIY project for a crowd, choose a vessel you’d look forward to reusing after the wedding, and plant flowers or herbs for an eco-friendly, cash-saving centerpiece. 34 Affordable ... 63 Gorgeous DIY Wedding Centerpieces Whether you want to craft floral masterpieces, make simple arrangements look fab or go flower-free, we’ve got the DIY for you. Keep in mind: Price and stock could change after publish date, and we may make money from these links. DIY centerpieces can help you save up for other aspects of your wedding, as well as let you take the reins to make something all your own. Ahead, ideas for adding personality and a homemade touch to one of the prettiest parts of your wedding reception décor.
DIY Wedding Decorations Dollar Tree DIY Bling Centerpieces
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